News with a twist

Wisconsin Gazette - - Front Page -

MEM­ORY LAPSE GLOBE-TROT­TING DUCK

An over­sized rub­ber duck stolen from a New Hamp­shire fam­ily’s home five years ago has re­turned. Af­ter the duck’s dis­ap­pear­ance, the Troiano fam­ily be­gan re­ceiv­ing cryptic post­cards and pic­tures of it from lo­ca­tions all over the world. A Face­book page doc­u­ment­ing the glo­be­trot­ting of “Gale Ducky” gained a large fol­low­ing. But Gale Ducky re­cently ended the ad­ven­ture, re­turn­ing home with a suit­case full of me­men­tos from 20 coun­tries and cities across the United States and the globe. The duck’s hu­man travel com­pan­ion re­mains a mys­tery.

HIGH ON THE FUMES?

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Gi­u­liani claims that “suc­cess­ful” Po­lice in the south­ern at­tacks of ter­ror­ism Ore­gon com­mu­nity never oc­curred on U.S. soil un­til of Rogue River made their largest Pres­i­dent Barack Obama took pot seizure ever af­ter a man of­fice. Gi­u­liani, of course, was the no­ti­fied them that he’d stum­bled mayor of New York City when the upon a porta potty in a park that World Trade Cen­ter’s twin towBeyrsLiswaasN­fiellfef­dawnidthL­moau­ri­isjuaW­naeip­slab­netrs.g were de­stroyed in the worst ter- Po­lice Chief Ken Lewis said he ror­ist at­tack in the na­tion’s histo- doesn’t know how the pot got ry. Ge­orge W. Bush was pres­i­dent there. But he spec­u­lated the toi­let at the time. might have been a pickup place.

DEVIL IN THE CLASS­ROOM?

The Satanic Tem­ple of Seat­tle has asked the Mount Ver­non School District in the state of Wash­ing­ton for per­mis­sion to start an af­ter-school pro­gram. The group made the re­quest af­ter learn­ing the Good News Bi­ble Club, which is run by the Child Evan­ge­lism Fel­low­ship, had a pro­gram at a lo­cal el­e­men­tary school. A 1991 U.S. Supreme Court rul­ing stated that if schools al­low any or­ga­ni­za­tion to use school prop­erty, they must al­low ac­cess to all or­ga­ni­za­tions, re­li­gious and sec­u­lar. The district is ex­plor­ing how to han­dle the co­nun­drum.

LEAVE IT TO BEAVERS

A man and his pros­thetic leg have been re­united af­ter two ca­noers near Wabeno, Wis­con­sin, saw it sticking out of a beaver dam. Ca­noers El­liot Fuller and Ja­son Franklin said they thought it was part of a corpse un­til they got close enough to pull it out. Search­ing Craigslist, they found an ad from a man who said he lost a pros­thetic limb af­ter his ca­noe tipped dur­ing a July fish­ing trip. The ca­noers got a $50 re­ward.

HIS HEART BE­LONGS TO DADDY

Her father’s heart re­cip­i­ent re­cently es­corted a Penn­syl­va­nia bride down the aisle. Arthur Thomas re­ceived the do­nated or­gan af­ter a mug­ger killed the bride’s dad 10 years ago. Jeni Stepien said she was thank­ful his heart and spirit were able to at­tend her wed­ding. Thomas said he couldn’t imag­ine a greater honor than es­cort­ing the daugh­ter of the man who gave him his heart.

JAIL­HOUSE ROCK­ERS

Rod

Blago­je­vich, the most re­cent ex-gover­nor of Illi­nois to be serv­ing time in fed­eral prison, has al­ways been a big Elvis fan. He was known for pep­per­ing his speeches with snip­pets of his Elvis im­per­son­ation. Now comes word that Blago formed a band in the big house called the “The Jail­house Rock­ers.” The former gover­nor served as the lead singer, and the group had a 21-song play list. But the group dis­solved af­ter the lead gui­tarist was re­leased. Usu­ally that’s when bands re­unite.

THE CUT SEEN ’ROUND THE WORLD

On his way to the Olympics, Michael Phelps got a hair­cut from an At­lanta bar­ber, then snapped a selfie of him­self with his new cut sur­rounded by a crowd of smil­ing bar­bers and cus­tomers. The shot quickly re­ceived more than 60,000 likes af­ter the record-set­ting swim­mer posted it on In­sta­gram. The cap­tion on his post read, “Thanks to the boys at #vin­tage bar­ber shop for the nice trim be­fore rio!” Rae­fus Cox, the bar­ber who gave Phelps the trim, said he watched the Games all week with an ex­tra sense of pride. “I wanted to see my hair­cut across the world,” Cox said, adding that Phelps is “a pretty cool, a great guy.”

THE DON­ALD UN­VEILED

An an­ar­chist col­lec­tive known as INDECLINE com­mis­sioned and placed five stat­ues of a naked Don­ald Trump across the na­tion to protest the Repub­li­can pres­i­den­tial nom­i­nee’s racism and ig­no­rance. The project was called “The Em­peror Has No Balls” — and nei­ther did the stat­ues. The rugs, how­ever, matched the cur­tains, lend­ing sup­port to the Don­ald’s claims of au­then­tic­ity.

WHY HIM?

Tony Perkins says nat­u­ral dis­as­ters are caused by LGBT peo­ple, who bring down the wrath of God on places such as New Or­leans and New York. So how does he ex­plain the re­cent flood­ing in God-fear­ing south­ern Louisiana? And how does he ex­plain why his house was one of many that were de­mol­ished?

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.