News with a twist
TOXIC FRONT-ROW SEAT
Vice President Mike Pence glows when he talks about growing up on the “front row of the American dream.” But he doesn’t mention the cancer-causing chemicals his family doused there. For three years, the states of Indiana, Kentucky and Illinois have spent at least $21 million cleaning up carcinogens leaked into the groundwater by more than 200 gas stations owned by the Pence family. And the work, according to records uncovered by The Associated Press, is nowhere near complete.
HuffPost collected images of the “best Donald Trump protest signs” seen during the president’s visit to London. A sampling: “Feed him to the corgis.” “Piss off you orange bastard.” “Trump as welcome as a World Cup 3rd Place Play-off!” And “Too Many Tweets Make A Twat” — which we think means something different in England.
A man grabbed the buttocks of the wrong waitress at Vinnie Van Go-Go’s in Savannah, Georgia. She spun around, grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him into a wall, knocking him to the ground. The incident was caught on surveillance camera and shared on reddit in a forum called “Justice Served.” Besides being humiliated on the web, the groper was arrested and charged with sexual battery.
GROWING LIKE WEEDS
Officials in Powell, Wyoming, allege pranksters planted marijuana seeds in cityowned flowerpots this spring. Unaware, parks and recreation staff watered the pots until it was obvious they weren’t growing geraniums. Workers plucked several pot plants from pots, including one not far from the police station.
Search for the word “idiot” in Google images and Donald Trump’s face will be the first you see. Also, the second, third, fourth, sixth, ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th — well, you get the picture. Pun intended. Trump’s face is the first to appear in Google images under “liar,” as well.
POOR TASTE TEST
Executives with Lot 18 and MGM probably endured some agonizing headaches after the release of their Handmaid’s Talebranded wines — and not from hangovers. After relentless mocking on social media, the product line — an Offred and Oflgen red and a Serena Joy white — was abruptly canceled. The label on Offred had read, “Rich and complex. Lush, fruit flavors of cherry and cassis are complemented by earthy flavors of mushroom and forest floor.” The Serena Joy was a Bordeaux Blanc, “sophisticated, traditional and austere.”
USING A COUPON WHILE BLACK
In many WiGWAGs, we include the story of someone who’s gotten in trouble for being black. Recently, a CVS manager called police on a black customer because he claimed she tried using a fraudulent coupon. The manager and a second employee involved in the incident are “no longer employed by CVS Health,” the company said in a statement on its Twitter account.
Officials in Fort Smith, Arkansas, have repealed a 1953 ordinance that prohibited public dancing on Sundays. The measure said public dancing on that day “greatly endangers the public health, safety and welfare.” Locals called the legislation the “Footloose ordinance” after the 1984 movie about a town that banned dancing.
An Uber driver lost his job after a passenger said he peed in a bottle while driving her through Midtown Manhattan. She couldn’t see the dirty act because she was seated too far back in the driver’s minivan. But she heard it after removing her earbuds. The Independent Drivers Guild condemned the driver’s action but pointed out there are only 19 relief stands in Manhattan for the area’s nearly 80,000 for-hire vehicle drivers.
MORE FUN TOGETHER
By coincidence, six nurse practitioners at the Comprehensive Cancer Center at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center are pregnant. “Each time that we found out somebody else was pregnant, it was like, well who is next?” an ambulatory nurse at the center said. The six women are known around the hospital as “The Fabulous Six Pack.”
BUD VERSUS BOLSHEVIK
Fans attending the World Cup final between France and Croatia in Russia encountered a huge statue of Lenin as they arrived to the Luzhniki Stadium (originally the Central Lenin Stadium). And, at the rear of the monument, they saw a Budweiser concession stand with a sign proclaiming: “Drink smart today — celebrate tomorrow.” Also near the sculpture was an ad for Visa and a stand where people could buy hoodies for 6,000 rubles ($96).