News with a twist

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Vice Pres­i­dent Mike Pence glows when he talks about grow­ing up on the “front row of the Amer­i­can dream.” But he doesn’t men­tion the can­cer-caus­ing chem­i­cals his fam­ily doused there. For three years, the states of In­di­ana, Ken­tucky and Illinois have spent at least $21 mil­lion clean­ing up car­cino­gens leaked into the ground­wa­ter by more than 200 gas sta­tions owned by the Pence fam­ily. And the work, ac­cord­ing to records un­cov­ered by The As­so­ci­ated Press, is nowhere near com­plete.


Huf­fPost col­lected im­ages of the “best Don­ald Trump protest signs” seen dur­ing the pres­i­dent’s visit to Lon­don. A sam­pling: “Feed him to the cor­gis.” “Piss off you or­ange bas­tard.” “Trump as wel­come as a World Cup 3rd Place Play-off!” And “Too Many Tweets Make A Twat” — which we think means some­thing dif­fer­ent in Eng­land.


A man grabbed the but­tocks of the wrong wait­ress at Vin­nie Van Go-Go’s in Sa­van­nah, Ge­or­gia. She spun around, grabbed him by the shirt col­lar and slammed him into a wall, knock­ing him to the ground. The in­ci­dent was caught on sur­veil­lance cam­era and shared on red­dit in a fo­rum called “Jus­tice Served.” Be­sides be­ing hu­mil­i­ated on the web, the groper was ar­rested and charged with sex­ual bat­tery.


Of­fi­cials in Pow­ell, Wy­oming, al­lege pranksters planted mar­i­juana seeds in city­owned flow­er­pots this spring. Un­aware, parks and recre­ation staff wa­tered the pots un­til it was ob­vi­ous they weren’t grow­ing gera­ni­ums. Work­ers plucked sev­eral pot plants from pots, in­clud­ing one not far from the po­lice sta­tion.


Search for the word “idiot” in Google im­ages and Don­ald Trump’s face will be the first you see. Also, the sec­ond, third, fourth, sixth, ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th — well, you get the picture. Pun in­tended. Trump’s face is the first to ap­pear in Google im­ages un­der “liar,” as well.


Ex­ec­u­tives with Lot 18 and MGM prob­a­bly en­dured some ag­o­niz­ing headaches af­ter the re­lease of their Handmaid’s Tale­branded wines — and not from hang­overs. Af­ter re­lent­less mock­ing on so­cial me­dia, the prod­uct line — an Of­fred and Oflgen red and a Ser­ena Joy white — was abruptly can­celed. The la­bel on Of­fred had read, “Rich and com­plex. Lush, fruit fla­vors of cherry and cas­sis are com­ple­mented by earthy fla­vors of mush­room and for­est floor.” The Ser­ena Joy was a Bordeaux Blanc, “so­phis­ti­cated, traditional and aus­tere.”


In many WiGWAGs, we in­clude the story of some­one who’s got­ten in trou­ble for be­ing black. Re­cently, a CVS man­ager called po­lice on a black cus­tomer be­cause he claimed she tried us­ing a fraud­u­lent coupon. The man­ager and a sec­ond em­ployee in­volved in the in­ci­dent are “no longer em­ployed by CVS Health,” the com­pany said in a state­ment on its Twit­ter ac­count.


Of­fi­cials in Fort Smith, Arkansas, have re­pealed a 1953 or­di­nance that pro­hib­ited public danc­ing on Sun­days. The mea­sure said public danc­ing on that day “greatly en­dan­gers the public health, safety and wel­fare.” Lo­cals called the leg­is­la­tion the “Foot­loose or­di­nance” af­ter the 1984 movie about a town that banned danc­ing.


An Uber driver lost his job af­ter a pas­sen­ger said he peed in a bot­tle while driv­ing her through Mid­town Manhattan. She couldn’t see the dirty act be­cause she was seated too far back in the driver’s mini­van. But she heard it af­ter re­mov­ing her ear­buds. The In­de­pen­dent Driv­ers Guild con­demned the driver’s ac­tion but pointed out there are only 19 re­lief stands in Manhattan for the area’s nearly 80,000 for-hire ve­hi­cle driv­ers.


By co­in­ci­dence, six nurse prac­ti­tion­ers at the Com­pre­hen­sive Can­cer Cen­ter at Wake For­est Bap­tist Med­i­cal Cen­ter are preg­nant. “Each time that we found out some­body else was preg­nant, it was like, well who is next?” an am­bu­la­tory nurse at the cen­ter said. The six women are known around the hospi­tal as “The Fab­u­lous Six Pack.”


Fans at­tend­ing the World Cup fi­nal be­tween France and Croa­tia in Rus­sia en­coun­tered a huge statue of Lenin as they ar­rived to the Luzh­niki Sta­dium (orig­i­nally the Cen­tral Lenin Sta­dium). And, at the rear of the mon­u­ment, they saw a Bud­weiser con­ces­sion stand with a sign pro­claim­ing: “Drink smart to­day — cel­e­brate to­mor­row.” Also near the sculp­ture was an ad for Visa and a stand where peo­ple could buy hood­ies for 6,000 rubles ($96).

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