Q

Working Mother - - Home Front -

I re­ceived a great new job of­fer that I would love to take, but I would have to re­lo­cate to a new state. The job comes with a higher ti­tle and salary, but I think my hus­band will be re­luc­tant to make the move be­cause he’d also have to find a new job. How should I ap­proach this con­ver­sa­tion with him?

A

Gabriella Rowe, head of the Vil­lage School, a pri­vate school in Hous­ton, TX, went through a sim­i­lar sit­u­a­tion when she re­lo­cated her fam­ily from New York. She ex­plains that you and your hus­band should first have an hon­est con­ver­sa­tion about the things “sa­cred” to your re­la­tion­ship— like lo­ca­tion or prox­im­ity to your ex­tended fam­ily.

Next, run down all of the pros and cons of mak­ing the move with your hus­band, says Philpott- San­ders. Dis­cuss how the move would pos­i­tively impact your ca­reer and fam­ily’s qual­ity of life. But also take into ac­count fac­tors such as hav­ing to set­tle the kids into a new school dis­trict or how it might be dif­fi­cult for your hus­band to find a new job in this lo­ca­tion.

Ap­proach the con­ver­sa­tion with an open mind and be ready to talk about com­pro­mises, says Philpott- San­ders. These con­ver­sa­tions can be tough, so try to stay calm and fo­cused on the over­all goal: find­ing win-wins for your en­tire fam­ily. “Pre­pare for the dis­cus­sion by mak­ing a list of com­pro­mises you are will­ing and able to make, such as ad­just­ing your work sched­ule to ac­com­mo­date fam­ily ac­tiv­i­ties, and ask your hus­band to do the same.” You also might want to take the time to find any perks for your hus­band in the new lo­ca­tion— such as places to pur­sue his fa­vorite hob­bies—to help sweeten the deal. Good luck!

It’s tough, but mov­ing can be an ex­cit­ing ad­ven­ture for the whole fam­ily.

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