THE ART OF THE PIVOT
Expert advice that’ll help you navigate change with grace.
MAYBE YOU’RE ITCHING TO SHAKE THINGS UP by simply changing your eating habits or traveling more. Or maybe your need for reinvention runs deeper, and you’re considering quitting your day job to become a full-time yoga teacher or launch a new business. Whatever changes you’re looking to make in your life, there’s a way to go about it so that it unfolds as smoothly as possible, says Budig. “Transformation can be tough,” she says. “But with intention, you can let the process serve you as much as the end result.”
Here, Budig and her best friend, life coach Ash Cebulka, share their tips for navigating big change with courage and grace.
Listen to what really excites you. No matter what part of the transformation process you’re in—whether you’re in the beginning stages of dreaming big or doing the hard work of actually making big changes—keep coming back to this question: What lights me up? What fires me up to get out of bed in the morning? “If you just focus on being successful, it’s not going to bring happiness,” says Budig. Understand that backlash may be part of the process.
While you may be super-psyched for the changes happening in your life, not everyone in your world may be as stoked. “We live in a society that loves vanilla,” she says. “When you switch it up, some people are going to love it—and some people are going to be pissed off because they want their vanilla ice cream cone.” And that’s OK, Budig adds. “People come and go. I’ve learned that it’s the attachment to people loving you that’s going to hold you down.”
Amp up your self-care practices. No matter how crazy life feels as a result of all of the changes you’re making, a consistent self-care routine is key, says Cebulka. “Taking time to slow down helps you listen to your intuition and prompts you to ask yourself what you need and want,” she says. “If you’re able to do this, you’ll be better able to trust yourself— which will come in handy during a time that can be filled with self-doubt.” Embrace self-doubt and fear that may crop up.
All too often, those of us going through a big transformation only want to talk about the amazing parts—and skirt past the darker sides, says Cebulka. “In the spiritual wellness sector, it’s all about being fearless,” she says. “We’re often told to move past our doubts and not to pay attention to our fear.” Yet leaning into these emotions is part of the process. “Fear is just trying to keep us in our comfort zone,” says Cebulka. “Underneath it is an unmet need that should be tended to. Ask yourself what the need is, and within five seconds, do something actionable to move yourself past fear and closer to your desire.” Know that some of your friends won’t get it. Even though you may be excited about the big shifts happening in your life, others might get a little uncomfortable when they see you making changes—and that’s OK, says Cebulka. “Try to see that others’ discomfort actually has nothing to do with you,” she says. “You can’t shrink back to match someone else’s fear when you’re standing proudly in your power.” So, try to inspire others to rise to your vibration, rather than getting mired in the way they process your evolution. Surround yourself with your most supportive friends. For Budig, that meant people who didn’t care how much money she was making or what kind of yoga pose she could get into for a photo opp. “When you’re going through a transition, it’s crucial to reach out to the people who support you no matter what,” she says. Maybe it’s the yogis in your community who lift you up; or perhaps you reach out to an old friend or two. The bottom line, says Budig: “Connect with the people who help you feel supported, because at the end of the day, all any of us really want—especially when we’re going through a big change—is to feel understood.”
Don’t take yourself too seriously. When you’re taking what feel like big risks, it can be tempting to get really solemn about everything and lose your sense of humor when things don’t go your way. “A sense of playfulness will make everything— both your successes and failures—feel more expansive,” says Cebulka. “It’ll make it so that you won’t be so attached to the results.” Not only will this make everything feel lighter and more fun, but there’s a good chance you’ll be more open to any number of outcomes and opportunities, rather than getting stuck on the one you were after at the start. MEGHAN RABBITT
Budig with best friend and life coach, Ash Cebulka.