Dealing with dating a rich partner
MOST of us brought out the tissues when Jennifer Lopez’s character in Maid in Manhattan ended up with her rich prince charming who saved her from being a maid. Who also can forget how the tacky-looking, thigh-high-booted Julia Roberts was whisked from the streets by the charming and rich Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?
But is dating as easy as the movies make us believe?
Can you go from earning a minimum wage to the life of the rich and famous overnight?
It’s no secret that dating dynamics change depending on who you are dating.
When you are dating a younger man, for example, there are certain things you have to take into consideration, and make lifestyle adjustments if need be. The same goes for dating a richer partner. While most people often think that having a partner who is well-off is like winning the lotto, and does not require much other than dining at exclusive restaurants and driving in their latest sports cars, the truth is that if you do not fit into the lifestyle and cannot make the necessary adjustments you may find yourself dumped in out of your depth.
But what exactly does it take to date a partner who is rich? Is it a dream come true, or can it actually be more difficult than we think?
Relationship coach Lethabo Ntsasa highlights how dynamics change when you are dating a partner who is more well off than yourself.
“First, when we talk about entering into a genuinely loving relationship, how much someone’s net worth is should not be [an issue].
“But because we live in a society where such things cannot be ignored, how much the one partner makes usually comes up and, interestingly, there are different dynamics between a woman dating a rich man, as well as a man dating a rich woman,” he says.
Dating a rich woman According to Ntsasa, swallow your pride.
Men are ruled by pride, and of course a man’s pride is bound to take a knock when he starts dating a woman who makes more than he does.
The first thing to do would be to swallow that pride. Not only is it unattractive to constantly be on the defensive about your partner having more money than you do, but it can ruin a relationship if one is not careful.
Try not to bring out the caveman mentality
Yes, men are supposed to pick up the bill. Yes, men are expected to wine, dine and shower their women with gifts.
But in this scenario, do not go out of your way to break your bank in the hope of impressing her.
She already knows that you are not earning six figures, and chose to be with you anyway.
Do not get too comfortable There is nothing wrong with accepting the odd Rolex watch for a birthday gift once in a while, but it's important to remember that you are still the man in the relationship.
Some guys get so comfortable that they start asking their wealthy partner for frivolous gifts and favours, and before you know it, they are bona fide gold diggers.
Wealthy women can see through all of that. Do not fall into the same trap.
Shower her with thoughtful gifts Dating a wealthy woman does not mean that you do not have to try your best. You know how they say it’s the thought that counts? This is where they mean it.
Just because you cannot afford to take her on luxurious trips overseas or surprise her with a Lamborghini for her birthday does not mean that you cannot counteract that with thoughtful gifts.
Dating a rich man According to Ntsasa, avoid treating him like the catch of the day.
This means not telling your friends and family about how you are dating a rich man, and what lavish gifts he gives you.
Do not be a gold digger Do not pester him with requests to get your hair or nails done or, worse, airtime!
This is a complete turn-off. If he offers, great. But if he doesn’t, deal with it.
Dress the part Just like for the men above, try and look your best. Avoid looking cheap or overaccessorised but do not look like a slob.
Show independence Preferably have your own apartment. Have career ambitions.
This will show that you are not a leech who has been waiting for her knight in shining armour, but rather an independent, confident woman who can make it on her own. — Sowetan