Deal­ing with dat­ing a rich part­ner

Chronicle (Zimbabwe) - - Entertainment -

MOST of us brought out the tis­sues when Jen­nifer Lopez’s char­ac­ter in Maid in Man­hat­tan ended up with her rich prince charm­ing who saved her from be­ing a maid. Who also can for­get how the tacky-look­ing, thigh-high-booted Ju­lia Roberts was whisked from the streets by the charm­ing and rich Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?

But is dat­ing as easy as the movies make us be­lieve?

Can you go from earn­ing a min­i­mum wage to the life of the rich and fa­mous overnight?

It’s no se­cret that dat­ing dy­nam­ics change de­pend­ing on who you are dat­ing.

When you are dat­ing a younger man, for ex­am­ple, there are cer­tain things you have to take into con­sid­er­a­tion, and make life­style ad­just­ments if need be. The same goes for dat­ing a richer part­ner. While most peo­ple of­ten think that hav­ing a part­ner who is well-off is like win­ning the lotto, and does not re­quire much other than din­ing at exclusive restau­rants and driv­ing in their lat­est sports cars, the truth is that if you do not fit into the life­style and can­not make the nec­es­sary ad­just­ments you may find your­self dumped in out of your depth.

But what ex­actly does it take to date a part­ner who is rich? Is it a dream come true, or can it ac­tu­ally be more dif­fi­cult than we think?

Re­la­tion­ship coach Lethabo Nt­sasa high­lights how dy­nam­ics change when you are dat­ing a part­ner who is more well off than your­self.

“First, when we talk about en­ter­ing into a gen­uinely lov­ing re­la­tion­ship, how much some­one’s net worth is should not be [an is­sue].

“But be­cause we live in a so­ci­ety where such things can­not be ig­nored, how much the one part­ner makes usu­ally comes up and, in­ter­est­ingly, there are dif­fer­ent dy­nam­ics be­tween a woman dat­ing a rich man, as well as a man dat­ing a rich woman,” he says.

Dat­ing a rich woman Ac­cord­ing to Nt­sasa, swal­low your pride.

Men are ruled by pride, and of course a man’s pride is bound to take a knock when he starts dat­ing a woman who makes more than he does.

The first thing to do would be to swal­low that pride. Not only is it unattrac­tive to con­stantly be on the de­fen­sive about your part­ner hav­ing more money than you do, but it can ruin a re­la­tion­ship if one is not care­ful.

Try not to bring out the cave­man men­tal­ity

Yes, men are sup­posed to pick up the bill. Yes, men are ex­pected to wine, dine and shower their women with gifts.

But in this sce­nario, do not go out of your way to break your bank in the hope of im­press­ing her.

She al­ready knows that you are not earn­ing six fig­ures, and chose to be with you any­way.

Do not get too com­fort­able There is noth­ing wrong with ac­cept­ing the odd Rolex watch for a birth­day gift once in a while, but it's im­por­tant to re­mem­ber that you are still the man in the re­la­tion­ship.

Some guys get so com­fort­able that they start ask­ing their wealthy part­ner for friv­o­lous gifts and favours, and be­fore you know it, they are bona fide gold dig­gers.

Wealthy women can see through all of that. Do not fall into the same trap.

Shower her with thought­ful gifts Dat­ing a wealthy woman does not mean that you do not have to try your best. You know how they say it’s the thought that counts? This is where they mean it.

Just be­cause you can­not af­ford to take her on lux­u­ri­ous trips over­seas or sur­prise her with a Lam­borgh­ini for her birth­day does not mean that you can­not coun­ter­act that with thought­ful gifts.

Dat­ing a rich man Ac­cord­ing to Nt­sasa, avoid treat­ing him like the catch of the day.

This means not telling your friends and fam­ily about how you are dat­ing a rich man, and what lav­ish gifts he gives you.

Do not be a gold dig­ger Do not pester him with re­quests to get your hair or nails done or, worse, air­time!

This is a com­plete turn-off. If he of­fers, great. But if he doesn’t, deal with it.

Dress the part Just like for the men above, try and look your best. Avoid look­ing cheap or over­ac­ces­sorised but do not look like a slob.

Show in­de­pen­dence Prefer­ably have your own apart­ment. Have ca­reer am­bi­tions.

This will show that you are not a leech who has been wait­ing for her knight in shin­ing ar­mour, but rather an in­de­pen­dent, con­fi­dent woman who can make it on her own. — Sowe­tan

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