Live within your means sissy

The Manica Post - - Teenchat / Blabber Mouth / Weekender Guy & Girl / -

THIS piece is about this in­fa­mous daugh­ter of that for­mer mo­tor mouth min­is­ter who has lec­tured us about how our coun­try should be prop­erly gov­erned, but, has scruffily failed to ap­ply such acu­men to prop­erly run his fam­ily.

Her con­duct is a V11 proof that she was poorly brought up.

I mean our sissy who once left Yours Truly dis­gusted af­ter steal­ing con­do­lence money at the fu­neral wake of that other fa­mous thigh ven­dor.

Yes, she dipped her filthy fin­gers in con­do­lence money (kuba chema) while other mourn­ers were busy sob­bing and mourn­ing the de­parted slut.

She is un­cul­tured and fur­ther made a bad name for her­self in the city for ped­dling her flesh to who­ever flaunts the scarce and on-de­mand green­back.

Yes, that har­lot who gives the aging ex-leg­is­la­tor sleep­less nights by con­vert­ing to her per­sonal use, ev­ery penny meant for fam­ily up­keep.

Word reach­ing Yours Truly is that our sissy has pulled yet an­other shocker.

As I pen this, she is ac­tu­ally on po­lice wanted list af­ter she mas­ter­mind­ing an armed rob­bery in that other city where pa­trons never sleep.

Blab­ber also un­der­stands that a land cruiser – which her daddy got from his highly con­tro­ver­sial po­lit­i­cal ca­reer – has been con­fis­cated as an ex­hibit by those in­ves­ti­gat­ing the mat­ter.

For fear of jeop­ar­dis­ing po­lice in­ves­ti­ga­tions, Yours Truly will not di­vulge much de­tail.

And for the love of jus­tice, Blab­ber urges any­one who spots our fugi­tive sissy to alert the near­est po­lice sta­tion or ef­fect cit­i­zen ar­rest.

Sissy, we all want those Jeeps, Lex Coups, Bi­maz and Mercs, but there is more com­fort and joy in get­ting them through eth­i­cal means than through the com­mis­sion of crime.

If the grey-haired ones had not told you this, then sissy lis­ten to wise and free coun­sel from Blab­ber – crime does not pay. I rest my case for now!

Blab­ber now shifts fo­cus to this other spooky-haired and tem­per­a­men­tal busi­ness green­horn.

I mean this one who ap­pears to be re­gain­ing his san­ity af­ter weeks of in­sane an­tics.

Yours Truly has it on good au­thor­ity that at the peak of his de­range­ment, he ate from the dust­bin.

The sit­u­a­tion was so dire that his wife of years aban­doned him in his hour of need.

Thank God the boy is back to his senses and Yours Truly hopes he has mas­tered one or two real life les­sons.

You do not use juju to make a quick buck, and no mat­ter how ef­fec­tive, its side ef­fects will catch up with you in one way or the other.

Yours Truly also hopes that his new side chick, this other waiter at a lo­cal eatery, does not desert him in the same fash­ion as the first wife – in his sec­ond hour of need.

For now, Yours Truly prays that the re­cent ut­ter­ances by this con­tro­ver­sial ‘Man of God’ that he has found the cure for HIV and Aids does not re­verse the gains that Blab­ber has made so far in try­ing to pre­serve the lit­tle that re­mains of our moral fab­ric.

Funny how peo­ple change, even that other sex­ual per­vert who used to be­lieve in ev­ery­thing that this ‘Man of God’ says took to so­cial me­dia to ques­tion the au­then­tic­ity of the ‘dis­cov­ery’ by the trig­ger-happy preacher.

Dur­ing the old days when he used to lead the con­gre­ga­tion from this end and un­til the re­cent ac­ri­mo­nious fall­out, the ‘smart’ dude would stand by the ‘Man of God’. He was so ad­dicted to the preacher to the ex­tent of believ­ing his word even if he says the sun will rise from the west to­mor­row. Ndoo pan­oti munhu!

Un­til next week, dear gen­tle reader, do not for­get to take part in the Zim­pa­pers Cancer Power Walk to­mor­row.

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