Kermie’s fun ‘working’ hols
AS I write this we have three days to go before we are supposed to head off on our annual sojourn to our time-share at Yarrawonga on the Murray River for a well-earned (well, I think so) break for a couple of weeks. Except this year we lose a couple of days at each end.
My niece, Bronwyn, has rudely decided to get married on Saturday – the first day of our hols. The fact she had no idea of our holiday booking has absolutely nothing to do with it! She should have checked with me before accepting John’s proposal and setting the date! Then the HCVC have their annual bash at Yarra Glen Racecourse on the Sunday, coinciding with the second day of our holidays. Have they no decorum? Now I have to spend hours on Sunday talking to bloody truck enthusiasts, when I could be dangling my feet poolside, or munching on a Yarrawonga Bakery bee sting.
As if that wasn’t enough, Fuso have invited me to attend a launch of something or other at Canberra, halfway through the second week. That’s another two whole days off my R&R! When James Stanford, Daimler’s PR man rang to invite me, I said that I’d have to speak with Rita before accepting.
Her response was, “Do what you have to. I’ll try not to think of you while I’m reading a book by the pool, sipping on my Kahlua and ordering in a nice Italian for dinner.”
I presume she was talking about food here. When this goes to print though, I will be in the middle of doing absolutely nothing. I’m going to work doubly hard at doing absolutely nothing as well, as I have less days to do absolutely nothing in. Absolutely nothing does involve hard work. I have to walk from the pool back to our unit to get more ice and Scotch – and I have to do it regularly. My smart watch will tell me how many steps I’ll take doing it and I reckon it’ll be plenty to counteract the calories in the drinks.
Then I’ll have to get off the deck chair to fall in the pool. And, as I fall in the deep end I’ll have to swim at least half a length to where I can stand. Getting out requires even more work as I’ll need to use the steps at the shallow end, requiring me to walk the whole length of the pool to get back to said deck chair.
Then there’s the work required to cook on the barbecue. Think I’ll need a nice cold Nastro Azzurro Peroni or three to wipe the sweat off my brow for that one. Half way through this “non” holiday I’ll also be required to file stories for the next issue of Big Rigs and do the hosting of our Big Rigs Podcast. No, being on holidays is not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m sure none of you lot would want to swap with me…. Would you? Being November it’s also Movember and, at the prompting of the aforementioned James Stanford, I’ve bitten the bullet and am growing a ’tache. I had a mo for years from the age of 18 right through into my late 40’s. Back then it was a nice shade of black. Now though it’s all salt and pepper and, at this stage at any rate, looks like I’ve snotted all over my upper lip. Rita’s not impressed and reckons air-kisses are the order of the month. “You could just donate to the cause without growing one yourself, you know.”
“Yeah, but James has promised prizes for the best and worst trucking journo moustache.”
“No worries then. As long as you’re happy with the worst….and looking 10 years older…..NO! Don’t try and kiss me!”
As soon as Yarrawonga comes to an end we hook up the caravan and head down to Castlemaine for the annual photo shoot of the Cornwill boys, and to cover their excellent truck show, sponsored by AdTrans. May stay on for a couple of days to recover from all the effort expended on my “working holiday”.
Finally! I’ve lost 20kilos. The last couple of months has been very slow going but at least it’s all been down, down. Now to knuckle down more and get rid of another 5-10. Or perhaps that should wait till after hols. Take care of you, Kermie (84kg)
MOVEMBER: Kermie's mo is coming along nicely.