Or Aussie?

Big Rigs - - COLUMN -

a park­ing spot be­tween two trucks at a pop­u­lar road­house.

The driver of one was deep in con­ver­sa­tion on a mo­bile with a col­league from a dif­fer­ent state.

Con­ver­sa­tion was juicy to say the least as he spoke about hav­ing two girl­friends and it had come to the point where he had to pick one.

“When I get back home I can take one out for break­fast and the other out for tea,” he said.

Spy wasn’t about to in­ter­rupt the lad as he an­swered a ques­tion from his mate about was he wor­ried about one of them be­com­ing preg­nant.

“No I have had the snip,” he an­swered.

When the con­ver­sa­tion fin­ished Spy yarned to the very friendly gent aged in his for­ties.

I even sug­gested he was a mod­ern day Casanova, to which he laughed.

“I bet you got some en­ter­tain­ment lis­ten­ing to my con­ver­sa­tion,” he said.

Sure did and this proves you never know where Spy will be.

Pi­lot dan­ger

A VET­ERAN fe­male truck driver who now mostly is be­hind the wheel of a pi­lot ve­hi­cle, trav­els ex­ten­sively be­tween Perth, Mel­bourne, Syd­ney and Bris­bane.

This woman told Spy of some of the dan­gers faced.

“Some­thing needs to done and at Bog­ga­billa in NSW where they break into your truck while you duck into a servo for a quick shower,” she said.

The lady said that at Wil­can­nia and Moree there are reg­u­lar cases of rocks be­ing thrown at trucks.

And she said that over­size ve­hi­cles are tar­gets.

“We go slower around cor­ners and tak­ing off from lights. Some like to break into pi­lot cars and trucks while driv­ers are asleep. I had it hap­pen to me at St Ge­orge in Queens­land one night and luck­ily l had a blue heeler dog which saved me,” she said.

This lady is around the age of 60.

Taboo de­scrip­tion

ON the sub­ject of pi­lot driv­ers who are mem­bers of the fairer sex there is one thing that pid­dles them off.

Some peo­ple re­fer to them as es­corts, which could re­sult in a well-placed knuckle sand­wich to the face.

“We are not es­corts but pi­lot driv­ers. A lot of peo­ple call us es­corts which can have an en­tirely dif­fer­ent mean­ing,” one said.

This is not the first time one of their num­ber has men­tioned it to Spy and will no doubt not be the last.

So next time you come across one, make sure you are po­lit­i­cally cor­rect with your de­scrip­tion.

Log in

THREE NT driv­ers did a spot of fish­ing in a Dar­win wa­ter­way and one told his mate that a large salt­wa­ter croc­o­dile was sev­eral me­tres away and stalk­ing them.

He was adamant the rep­tile was eye­ing them off for a feed.

Sounded very con­vinc­ing con­sid­er­ing Dar­win creeks and rivers abound with the sauri­ans. An­other of the an­glers sug­gested the sharp-eyed spot­ter could be a ver­sion of Croc­o­dile Dundee.

But an old timer who reg­u­larly fished the vicin­ity came along and pointed out that it was not a croc.

“It is a big log that can be seen as the tide goes out. But it can look like a croc at cer­tain times,” he said.

The two mates have a new name for the would-be croc in­for­mant. He is now dubbed LOG-A-DILE Dundee.

Poo de­bate

A DE­BATE over the qual­ity of poo is the last thing you would ex­pect to hear at a road­house eatery.

But when it does – prob­a­bly as rare as a sight­ing of Ha­ley’s Comet – it makes for en­ter­tain­ing lis­ten­ing. Spy was sit­ting near some truckie lads who were dis­cussing that very sub­ject. To qual­ify that it was about which pro­vides the best fer­tiliser.

A NSW driver nom­i­nated cow or bull waste as by far the best.

How­ever a Queens­land truckie said that horse ma­nure was a class above the rest.

Then a Vic­to­rian driver ex­pressed his opin­ion in no un­cer­tain terms.

“Chook ma­nure beats the rest by far. If you place it on your gar­den it makes them grow like s--t,” he said.

Par­don the pun was Spy’s thought.

PHOTO: SPY

POP­U­LAR STOP: Trucks parked be­hind the Epping For­est Road­house in Tas­ma­nia.

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