7 things confident women do in bed
Sex isn’t just about pleasing the guy (duh!) so if you need a little more fulfilment down there, don’t be embarrassed about introducing a helping hand – the batteryoperated type. ‘If you sense your guy might be a little hesitant about it, start with something small like a clitoral vibrator,’ says Dr Goldstein. ‘Then explain to him how much better this is going to make you feel. Own it. Tell him that by just adding it to your repertoire, you’ll scream your head off and gush to the other side of the room. He isn’t going to deny you that.’
Get on top
We all know what happens when we bend over – our stomach rolls can multiply and our boobs hang out. But a confident woman doesn’t give a flying f*ck. Why? Because the grind feels so damn good. ‘Whatever the
unflattering position might be – on top or doggie – if you enjoy it but avoid it because you’re worried about what a man thinks about your body, then don’t – I can assure you he isn’t focusing on it. All he’s thinking is, Yes! I’m having sex right now. Taking charge and doing the positions you want – that’s confidence,’ says Dr Goldstein.
Forget being a French maid or a naughty nurse – instead, splurge a little and invest in some sexy lingerie. Nothing screams ‘I’m ready for a night of passion’ like a slinky bra and undies combo. ‘So many women say to me, “Oh, I feel like an idiot dressing up,” but you shouldn’t. Showing yourself off in something sexy is a great confidence builder,’ says Dr Goldstein.
Put on some porn
Raise your hand if you enjoy a good softcore porn session. Go on, don’t be shy. Us too! It turns out heaps of us like watching it during solo play but shy away from the screen when it comes to getting our partner involved too. ‘Women worry about their partner being turned on by a woman on screen who might be more toned or more “attractive” than them. But if porn turns you on, feel confident enough to introduce it into the bedroom every now and then,’ says Dr Goldstein. It could inspire a whole new set of moves and positions. Win!
Stop comparing yourself to the ex
A confident woman knows her worth, so take a leaf out of her book and stop worrying about who came before you (literally). ‘It’s hard not to go to the place where you think, What was their sex life like? Was she better than me? ’ says Dr Goldstein. ‘If you must, acknowledge it, own it and let it go. Asking your partner for validation is asking them to degrade their previous partner, and we don’t want to be talking smack about other women. Instead, just remember that if their sex and relationship were a better match than yours, they’d still be together – and they’re not.’
Contrary to popular male belief, we don’t drip like a tap the second someone touches us. So rather than biting your tongue through painful sex, take charge from the start and lube up. ‘There’s still so much stigma around women using lube, but there shouldn’t be,’ insists Dr Goldstein. ‘We want to enjoy ourselves just as much as our male counterpart, and that involves being wet. Using it is a sign of someone hugely confident because they’re standing up for their sexual pleasure.’ Plus you can pick your flavour!
A CONFIDENT WOMAN GETS ON TOP.