Sex Q&A

Hon­est an­swers to your most pri­vate ques­tions

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

Q. Can I re­ally get ar­rested for hav­ing sex in pub­lic?

A. Yup, but pub­lic sex­ca­pades can be blurry ter­ri­tory. There are no laws that specif­i­cally make ref­er­ence to sexy time in pub­lic, but there are a num­ber of other laws which can be ap­plied to­wards ad­ven­tur­ous love mak­ers. If you’re wil­fully ex­pos­ing your gen­i­tals in pub­lic, you will likely cop a fine, and worst case sce­nario – jail time. Even if your gen­i­tals are not ex­posed, sex in pub­lic could also be seen as of­fen­sive be­hav­iour and there­fore a dif­fer­ent type of of­fence. So, while do­ing it where you might be seen is sexy in the­ory, it’s risky in re­al­ity.

Q. Could I get preg­nant from hav­ing sex with­out a con­dom while I have my pe­riod?

A. If you’re truly men­stru­at­ing (as in, the lin­ing of your uterus is shed­ding around two weeks af­ter you ovu­late), then no, says ob­gyn, Lau­ren Stre­icher, MD, med­i­cal direc­tor of the Cen­ter for Sex­ual Medicine and Menopause at North­west­ern Memo­rial Hospi­tal, in Chicago. That said, when many women see blood, they as­sume ‘pe­riod’, even though it could be ir­reg­u­lar bleed­ing or spot­ting mid­cy­cle – both in­stances in which sperm could in­fil­trate one of your eggs. To avoid le bébé, wrap it up at all times.

Q. I heard weed is an aphro­disiac. True?

A. The jury’s still out. A re­cent study in the Jour­nal of Sex­ual

Medicine found that fre­quent pot smok­ers have about 20 per­cent more sex than non­smok­ers. And while cer­tain strains of mar­i­juana and weed­laced lubes are pur­ported to heighten de­sire, it has yet to be proven. ‘We know that cannabis works on the brain and im­pacts neu­ro­trans­mit­ters, which may, in turn, im­pact libido,’ says Dr. Stre­icher. ‘So it’s not out of the realm of sci­en­tific rea­son.’

Q. I love a suc­tion vibe, but un­for­tu­nately they often leave me feel­ing so sen­si­tive. What’s a gen­tler op­tion?

A. For many women, nip­ples are eroge­nous zones. Give your lady lumps some love and get your hands on a pair of nip­ple suck­ers. They’re de­signed to draw blood to the area caus­ing greater sen­si­tiv­ity and an ex­tra tingly sen­sa­tion, which means in­creased arousal. If you’re a be­gin­ner, start off by ap­ply­ing gen­tle suc­tion, then work your way up. Add a qual­ity wa­ter­based lu­bri­cant to help the suck­ers stick and for the suc­tion to last longer. (Check out our fave, right).

Q. Any thoughts about a great way to turn my­self on... that’s not porn? A. Although some 20 per­cent of mil­len­ni­als in­cor­po­rate porn into their sex lives, ac­cord­ing to a 2017 Skyn Con­doms sur­vey, you can also be the direc­tor of your own steamy scenes. Sim­ply script in­ti­mate sce­nar­ios in your mind, as if you’re writ­ing an erotic story, sug­gests sex ed­u­ca­tor Sari Locker, PhD, au­thor of The Com­plete Id­iot’s Guide to Amaz­ing Sex. Think of a tit­il­lat­ing build up, cli­max, and con­clu­sion, then fill in the R­rated de­tails as you go. We’ll help you get started: You’re sit­ting pretty on a trop­i­cal beach, when a sexy stranger walks over with two mai tais...

Q. What’s the best (and most fun!) po­si­tion for a quickie with my guy?

A. When you don’t have a ton of time, try the up­right dog­gie po­si­tion, says Locker. While stand­ing and hold­ing or lean­ing onto a piece of fur­ni­ture (a bed­post, kitchen counter, bath­room sink – even a wall if you’re des­per­ate!), bend over and have your part­ner en­ter you from be­hind. You’ll feel them su­per deep in­side and get some se­ri­ous G­spot stim­u­la­tion, but you’ll also have a hand free to rub your cli­toris (a no­table perk, since the ma­jor­ity of women need this type of ac­tion to ac­tu­ally have an or­gasm).

Q. When I mas­tur­bate, I fan­ta­sise about other women, but I’m straight! What’s go­ing on?

A. ‘It’s nat­u­ral to have erotic thoughts about any type of per­son,’ Locker. ‘The part­ners you choose to be with in real life may be dif­fer­ent from the peo­ple who pop up into your fan­tasies.’ Most peo­ple have had arous­ing thoughts about be­ing with var­i­ous gen­ders, re­gard­less of how they iden­tify sex­u­ally. Your mind’s just ex­plor­ing – there’s no need to over­anal­yse.



Make your nip­ples tin­gle and pop with the Per­fect Pair Sil­i­cone Nip­ple Suck­ers! LOVE­HONEY, ($19.95, (Love­

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