Sex con­fes­sions

When they’re this bad, all you can do is laugh about it!

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

‘I was on top while hav­ing sex with this guy at his house. I was re­ally feel­ing my­self, I guess a lit­tle too much. I rocked back and some­how lost con­trol of my en­tire body and fell off the bed. So there I was, twisted, naked limbs all over the place.

And I look up, and the dude is hold­ing his crotch in agony! He goes, ‘I think you broke my pe­nis.’ I got him a pack­age of frozen peas to put on it. I didn’t know what else to do! And I said, ‘Get it? Peas for your pea­nis,’ to lighten the mood. It didn’t work.’ – DEE, 25

‘My sum­mer fling and I de­cided to take a ca­noe out on a lake and hook up one night. Ev­ery­thing was go­ing as planned un­til we got too into it

and the ca­noe flipped over! It was hi­lar­i­ous, but we didn’t try any spon­ta­neous sex af­ter that.’ – SARAH, 31

‘I tried hav­ing sex on the beach once. It was so messy, and there was sand ev­ery­where.

The sand was so hot that it was burn­ing my skin, my boyfriend was sweaty as hell, and it was very, very dif­fi­cult!’ – ELLA, 21

‘I was on va­ca­tion at a re­sort with my then-boyfriend and his fam­ily. We got a room of our own, and it had a pri­vate bal­cony. We de­cided to get busy out there, think­ing that no one would see... it was pri­vate, right?

Any­way, I was lean­ing over the rail­ing, and we were do­ing it dog­gie­style, and all of a sud­den, we heard some­one gasp. The maid had come out on the bal­cony to clean up, and we didn’t hear her! I wanted to die.’ – MICHELLE, 23

‘I was at my boyfriend’s house which over­looks a lake, and has an out­door shower. His fam­ily was on the deck, so we de­cided to sneak away for some shower fun. We were full throt­tle, wa­ter pour­ing down us, and his lit­tle cousin peeked around the cor­ner and screamed, ‘Why are you guys naked and hug­ging?!’ I was mor­ti­fied.’ – NICOLE, 25

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