STITCHING WITH JULIAN

Julian Odessa is sharing the Language of Flowers each month – and this month takes a look at the iris – which represents wisdom and eloquence

Hullo! The last year and a half has been a quiet time for us all. But one person you’ve been able to talk to through even the harshest lockdown is yourself. Sometimes we forget to pay a ention to what that inner monologue is saying, but this month’s flower can remind us to listen more closely. We’re stitching the beautiful iris, flower of wisdom and of eloquence.

Sometimes if I’m having a bad day, I catch myself saying some crappy things inside my own head; “that was so stupid!”, “what a dumb thing to say!”, “you’re a bit useless!”. I would never say these things to other people, and yet here I am beating myself up. If I don’t catch myself thinking these things, those words end up colouring my day in darker shades of negativity than is necessary. Turns out my inner voice can be very eloquent in its criticisms!

But one thing I’ve found is that a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ day is often a ma er of perspective. I can recall days that look ro en on paper but weren’t so bad because I was in a good frame of mind (and vice versa). How we perceive the world is influenced, in part, by how we speak to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds. Often that voice has been trained (either by us or by those around us) to speak in a certain way and if it has been trained in the ways of criticism, it can be vicious indeed.

So, what to do if your inner voice is being a bit of a jerk? Cross stitch and kindness, my friends! You can try talking to yourself as if you were talking to a beloved friend. You can carve out some downtime to re-set those stress levels and indulge in some self-love. I find si ing down to stitch gives me space to check in with myself. Sure, having a conversation with your own inner voice might sound peculiar, but if we don’t notice what it’s saying we can inadvertently find ourselves with a very poisonous influence inside outer skulls. The answer, of course, is to stop beating ourselves up in this way.

With some consistency, warmth, and time, you can actually retrain that inner voice of yours to eloquently lift you up instead of tearing you down. You can also train it to say things like “you definitely need to buy that pa ern”, “it’s ok to take a break right now” and “you’re gorgeous and totally deserve cheese!”

( both very true things!).

Stitch boldly!

Julian