I’m Loving

There are some strange dishes to come out of Italy, says Matt Preston, who lists his top 10. But there’s one Roman recipe that saves the day.

Matt Preston’s list of strange Italian dishes, and the one he loves most.

WITH THE REGULARITY of a tax bill or a teenager asking for money arrives this Italian issue of delicious., and as the magazine’s resident contrarian it falls to me to take a different look at the amazing world of Italian food.

While the other pages in the magazine will laud the regional strengths and produce-driven simplicity of the cucina povera,

I get to take a more jaundiced view.

In the past, we’ve looked at ‘Britalian’, ‘Shitalian’ and why there are so many more Italian celebrity chefs outside Italy. I’ve also anointed Italy’s 10 best dishes – obviously lasagne won – but never have we looked at the dishes that Italy got wrong. Until now.

Yes, amazingly among the simple genius of pizza, pasta and risotto and the thousands of brilliant recipes from the likes of Marcella Hazan, Pellegrino Artusi and a veritable army of nonnas and nonnos there have been some mis-steps in the Italian kitchen. So, here they are: 10 Dishes I Wish The Italians Never Invented.

ZUPPA INGLESE The only good thing you can say about the overly boozy and often scarily technicolour imitation of an English trifle is that tiramisu was probably inspired by it. BUDINO I love a good Australian steamed pudding as much as the next person but the Italian version is invariably dry and as boring as a nil-all draw on a wet Wednesday night at Sampdoria. If it’s one of the mousse-like budinos, however, happy days. BISCOTTI Italian biscotti too often fall into one of two groups 1) dull, dry and with candied peel or, 2) hard enough to crack the teeth of a carthorse. While I love a dunking biscuit, I’d go dunking in a mug of tea rather than in dessert wine, but each to their own.

CURRIED TORTELLINI I mean, seriously? Just, NO!

OLD CANNOLI Fresh-filled, these crisp Sicilian pastry tubes are a delight. Left in a display case for the day, they have the attraction of wrapping wet cardboard around a dry paste of disappointment. RICOTTA IN DESSERTS – SOMETIMES For me, the mouth-drying texture of ricotta in desserts is a poor relation to using cream, creme fraiche or mascarpone.

TAKEAWAY PIZZA Offering pizza as takeaway might have made sense when you are a Neapolitan driving a carriage back from a ball at the palace and passed the pizzeria, but if the takeaway distance from oven to mouth is more than 50 metres I’m against pizza takeaway given the impact waiting has on the crust. The crust goes soft and the melted cheese goes hard.

PANI CA MEUSA Anyone for a spleen sandwich? I’d rather eat casu martzu, the famous maggot cheese from Sardinia. Maybe not. Please bring me a nice bowl of caponata or carbonara instead. LAMPREDOTTO This late-night Florentine snack of boiled intestines comes served in a bun. Not that I’m too squeamish.

I’d be happy with Genovese udder meatballs, osso bucco, or a bowl of trippa alla Fiorentina because the popularising of nose-to-tail eating is one of the great gifts from Italy to the world. CALABRIAN VERSION OF HEAD CHEESE OR BRAWN

The trouble is there’s often not much slicing and dicing done to disguise the bits before they go into a pickly jelly. So, you see, the Italians aren’t always gods in kitchen.

Now, I’m not going to give you a rescue recipe for one of these travesties so instead here’s my recipe for one of the greatest dishes from Roma, saltimbocca. It is a dish said to have originated from Brescia and adapted by Roman restaurants.

If you don’t like a strong sage flavour, use a smaller leaf or attach the sage leaf on the outside of the scallop with a toothpick.

SALTIMBOCCA SERVES 4

4 x 100g veal escalopes

8 sage leaves, plus extra leaves to fry

4 slices serrano ham, or prosciutto (I like serrano as it is less salty) 1/4 cup (35g) plain flour

2 tbs olive oil

80g unsalted butter, divided in 20g sliced, 60g chilled cubes 1 cup (250ml) Marsala

Mashed potato and rocket leaves, to serve

Working with 1 piece of veal at a time, place on a sheet of a baking paper and fold over paper to cover the veal. Using a meat mallet, pound the meat to 2mm thick. Press two sage leaves into each escalope, then place a slice of serrano on top and press down firmly.

Scatter flour onto a plate and press each piece of veal, meat-side down only, into the flour to coat. Do not flour the prosciutto side, as you are only going to cook these saltimbocca on one side.

Heat oil in a large heavy-based frypan over high heat. Add extra sage and fry for 30 seconds or until crisp. Remove and drain on paper towel. Add veal to the pan, floured-side down, and cook for 1 minute (the top should still be a little pink). Add the 20g sliced butter, and swirl the pan slightly so the butter gets under the veal. Remove the veal from the pan and keep warm to rest.

Add the Marsala to the pan and cook, scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon, for 1-2 minutes, until reduced and thickened slightly. Whisk in the chilled cubes of butter, and cook until the butter has melted, and the sauce is thick and glossy. Spoon the marsala sauce over the veal and top with fried sage leaves. Serve with mash and rocket alongside.