THE GIFT OF GIVING
Cooking and baking for others isn’t just about being kind to loved ones; it’s also about being kind to yourself. We explore the emotional benefits of sharing the love through food
We explore the emotional benefits of sharing the love through food.
Tis the season of giving, a time to show appreciation for the people we love. And when it comes to offering and sharing, food is right up there as a way to say ‘hey you’re awesome’. You probably won’t communicate it in so many words. It might sound more like ‘dive in people! this trifle needs eating’, but everyone will get the idea. And while everyone loves to receive a home-prepared meal or a tray of cookies, cooking does us, the cooks, a world of good too.
A RECIPE FOR WELLNESS
The mental health benefits of cooking have been well documented. Indeed ‘culinary arts therapy’ is now officially a thing, combining – not a substitute for – traditional counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy with cooking practice. These sessions are reported to have especially positive effects on those suffering from depression, anxiety and grief.
The findings of a study of 658 students in 2016 by Otago University suggested that, along with other creative endeavours such as painting and knitting, cooking from scratch can help ward off depression. Commenting on the results, which were published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, study author Dr Tamlin Conner said: “Overall, these findings support the emerging emphasis on everyday creativity as a means of cultivating positive psychological functioning.”
It seems that when we bake, in particular, our positivity levels are ‘sure to rise’. It triggers the same rewards as practising mindfulness, says Wellington-based registered psychologist Susan Wall.
“Baking actually requires a lot of full attention. You have to measure, and focus physically on rolling out the dough. Your senses of smell and taste are titillated, drawing your attention to the present with what you’re creating. Research shows engaging in mindful activity can shrink the amygdala, which is the brain’s ‘fight or flight’ centre,” explains Susan. “As the amygdala shrinks, the prefrontal cortex – associated with higher order brain functions such as awareness, concentration and decision-making – becomes thicker. This disconnection of our mind from its ‘stress centre’ seems to give rise to a range of physical as well as mental health benefits.”
And baking or cooking for others only serves to heighten those effects. First, because any sort of altruism is good for us. In an article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, author Stephen G Post writes: “Altruistic (other-regarding) emotions and behaviors are associated with greater well-being, health, and longevity.”
“Giving food helps us to feel connected to others. It can help to encourage a sense of trust, community”
Susan says studies have identified that being charitable towards others results in higher levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin, which then produces the hormone oxytocin. “These are the brain’s ‘happy hormones’; [being charitable] leads to a greater sense of relaxation, and can reduce stress and anxiety,” she adds.
Secondly, while any sort of giving produces positive results, there is an added boost when that gift is food, Susan reveals. “Because food is a primal need for our species to survive, the gift of food is perceived by our brains as feeding another, giving them fuel; something that they need to survive. Giving food helps us to feel connected to others. It can help to encourage a sense of trust, community, meaning, purpose, belonging, closeness, and intimacy – all of which have been linked to increased happiness, decreased depression, and greater/more positive overall well-being.”
Of course it doesn’t just have to be cooking for your own family. Why not share the love with friends, colleagues, neighbours – even people in the community you have never met before?
Louise Rees, national social connection adviser at Age Concern NZ, says Christmas is the ideal ‘excuse’ to reach out to people – and what better way than with food.
“If you don’t know your neighbours well, it’s the perfect time to pop round with something. You can say ‘Look, we don’t know each other but I’m from two doors down and I’m just popping in to see neighbours with cookies to say happy Christmas’. If we can increase neighbourhood cohesion, the benefits go in both directions. We all feel safer and happier if we know who’s around us and know that we’re surrounded by good people.”
INSIDE THE PRESSURE COOKER
Hang on a minute, you say, as you look at the days and weeks hurtling by and wonder how in Good King Wenceslas’ name you’ll get everything done in time. Haven’t we airbrushed over a crucial detail? Have we forgotten the pressure cooker that is the festive period? That for many of us the ‘season of giving’ is more like being trapped inside a giant snow globe with to-do lists swirling thickly all around us? Are we really saying that on top of everything else, we’re supposed to whip up a batch of goodwill to share with all and sundry?
No we haven’t forgotten; how could we – because festive stress affects more than half of us. According to the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand, 51 per cent of Kiwis feel added financial and social stresses during the festive season (as well as it being a time when many people experience more loneliness and isolation than ever). So let’s just qualify all our jolly rantings about ‘spreading the Christmas love’. The article in the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine on the benefits of altruism adds an important caveat. “A strong correlation exists between the well-being, happiness, health, and longevity of people who are emotionally and behaviorally compassionate, so long as they are not overwhelmed by helping tasks.”
So yes, so long as the cooking isn’t adding to our festive frazzlement, then we stand to benefit. Perhaps the secret lies in seeing cooking as more than heaving pans around and striving for Masterchef-worthy presentation. Perhaps it means letting go of the perfectionism, and seeing food as a means to help us reclaim the true meaning of Christmas, and to show love to those who need it most.
IT CAN BE CHILD'S PLAY
Among the Mental Health Foundation’s recommended ways to reduce stress over Christmas, it lists ‘spend quality time with whānau’. Like the doctor telling you to take it easy, this might elicit a ‘yeah right’ response. But involving the children in, say, whipping up edible gifts is one obvious way to achieve this. You’ll be ticking off that Christmas list while getting in some fun bonding time.
Age Concern’s Louise Rees says it’s good for youngsters to be involved in giving and not just receiving – plus it gives them something to stave off holiday boredom. “Make [cooking and baking] a kind of holiday project. Even when they’re little they can be stirring things, putting sprinkles on. Involve them in making something for older neighbours or grandparents. Don’t wait until the kids have gone to bed then stay up until midnight making preserves and baking bread!”
And it doesn’t need to be flawless, says Louise. “If you go round [to a grandparent] with the kids and present whatever has been made, it’s just that the person has been thought about; it’s a lovely thing to do. It doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”
For an older friend or neighbour who is no longer able to bake for themselves, they’ll truly appreciate a gift of home-baked goods.
“Some of the traditional things like preserves, shortbread, a small Christmas cake or truffles,” suggests Louise. “It’s lovely for them to have something to offer if someone calls in, so they too can offer some Christmas hospitality.”
Another way to reach out to older relatives or friends is to involve them in festive preparations. If they’re too frail to help with the actual cooking or baking, ask them to bring round a favourite traditional recipe, and get them to guide you through it.
“Right through childhood, my now grown-up daughter had a tradition with her granny where they’d do Christmas baking together,” says Louise. “When my daughter was little, granny was doing most of the baking and guiding the process; as she got frailer, my daughter took over. It was a sliding scale; it got to the point where she’d just be showing granny the mixture, to check it looked right. My daughter now has all those family recipes.”
And even if you’re a bit of a control freak and have your Christmas dinner planned down to the last sautéed Brussels sprout, let your older guest bring a dish, if they offer.
“If it’s something they traditionally eat, it’s lovely to accept and enjoy it. We all like to do both, giving and receiving, so allow them that reciprocity,” says Louise.
Lastly, if your older guest can’t contribute with either food or gifts, invite them to share memories, photo albums, to tell the kids how they spent Christmas as a child. What this does, says Louise, is build a sense of family history, of continuity “of community, of whānau, of Christmas not being commercial but being about getting together and sharing food”.
SHOWING COMPASSION? IT’S A PIECE OF CAKE
Nic Murray is well-versed in the art of edible kindness. Nic and fellow Wellingtonian Marie Fitzpatrick started up the charity Good Bitches Baking five years ago, as a way to spread a little love among those going through a hard time.
“Marie and I had had quite a few glasses of pink bubbles and were having a bit of chat about the sorry state of the world. We knew from our own difficult times that small gestures of kindness make a big difference,” says Nic. We thought the least we could do was to make a few people feel a bit better in a time of crisis. So we and a few friends starting baking for women in refuges, children in hospital, and people at hospice here in Wellington.”
Next thing they knew, they’d “accidentally started a national charity”. “We found out thousands of people also want to help others in their communities. We try to make it easy and fun for them to do just that.”
Since 2014 their 2100 volunteers all over New Zealand have been delivering “a moment of sweetness”, to about 700,000 people.
‘”Some of those people tell us it made them smile when they thought they might never smile again. Others say it made them feel less alone at a scary time, or gave them hope for their tomorrow. Others say it made them feel like someone cared. We think everyone should feel like that.”
And a wonderful by-product of all this giving is the way it has changed the lives of the volunteers.
“They say it helps them feel more connected to their communities and more hopeful for the future. Many use it [volunteering] to teach their children about charity and their own privileges. Some of them have also told us it has helped with depression and grief,” says Nic.
“It’s easy to think that a batch of scones is not really going to have much of an impact, but when you know you’re one of hundreds of people baking that day it feels like it really could make a big difference. We don’t bake together – everyone bakes in their own home, often with their families, but we are a strong virtual community. We celebrate and support each other.”
If being time-poor is a barrier, Nic’s advice is: “Find a recipe you can do without thinking. Brownie is my quick and easy go-to. I have made it so many times that I don’t need to look at a recipe. It’s one bowl and you can have it in the oven in about 10 minutes.”
Of course kindness isn’t confined to baking, and Nic advises you call your nearest refuge, shelter or retirement home to find out what’s needed. But if you do want to bake and be part of a community, hop on gbb.org.nz to find your nearest chapter.
STUFF THAT BIRD, FILL THOSE TINS
By seeing cooking as a vehicle for connection and making a difference, and improving our own mental well-being into the bargain, we’re reclaiming the narrative. Even when budgets are tight, a meal cooked together with family and friends, with the intention of connection and giving, has a value way beyond any number of Michelin stars.
And besides, wouldn’t you far rather be rolling out dough or chopping up veges in the relative sanity of your own kitchen than heading out into the commercially sanctioned lunacy of the local mall? Few things are more guaranteed to squash your fa-la-la-la-la than someone beating you to the last parking spot. So spare yourself the grief… and bake the world a better place.
See Festive Baking, page 110
“Some of those people [we baked for] tell us it made them smile when they thought they may never smile again. Others say it made them feel less alone”