SWEET TWEETS

@nathvalvo Whenever a journalist describes a fire front as “raging” I picture a big fire burning through trees screaming “Heyy gurrrllll”

@EmRusciano McDonalds are trialling home delivery here. Thank GOD. Drive through is SO inconvenient. I need never move again. Pass me my rag on a stick.

@RealMattLucas Once you flop, you can’t top.

@KevinFarzad A great way to keep chips from going stale is to eat the entire bag in one sitting and then immediately hate yourself.

@PureBredGay If you don’t love @ DNAmagazine we can’t be friends

@KevinFarzad Greek yogurt is just regular yogurt with a bunch of body hair and gold chains.

@TheTweetOfGod When I wrote that homosexuality was an abomination that was before I saw Chris Pine. #hot #GoldenGlobes

@joelcreasey Half way through telling a story “Mum, are you even listening?!”. She said “Sorry, I’m just snapchatting Peggy from Zumba” #ohgod #duckface

@SamGrittner sext: I didn’t use my fingers to

type this.

@LovelyLeggyLass Poor Ruby Rose had to cancel her ‘DJ’ gig tonight because her iPhone battery died.

@gayboyproblem The guy who gave me chlamydia just came up in People I May Know. #gayboyproblem

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