DEAR DIVA

Do I drink too much? Is my dick too small? Is my sexfree relationship over? DNA’s advice columnist, Robbyne Kaamil, keeps it real for the boys.

You think you’ve got troubles?

I’VE LOST THAT SEXY FEELING

Dear Diva, My boyfriend and I have been together seven years and the sexual attraction is gone. I know that’s what happens in a long-term relationship, but I’m only 35. I love him and we get along, so the positives outweigh the negatives, but am I supposed to settle for passionless co-habitation the rest of my life? You’ve reached a fork in the road and it’s time for a chat. If you want a passionate, sex-filled monogamous relationship it’s probably time to move on. However, if you love each other and want to stay together, you’re going to need to negotiate how your sexual needs are met. Maybe you can make some rules about sex outside the relationship? If you are unfulfilled and unhappy you need to leave, but don’t mistake sex for love and love for sex. Plenty of people, gay and straight, are in happy relationships without having sex with each other. And some relationships have plenty of bang in the bedroom but are unhappy in other departments. First, be honest with yourself about what you want from the relationship, then be honest with him.

TOP GUNNING

Dear Diva, I’m a closet top because I’m nervous that I have a small dick. In fact, I’m probably average but I play the bottom card because I’m not sure my size would please guys looking to be topped. Am I paranoid or just playing to my strengths? It’s time to explode out of the closet. I’m sure you will be able to ring plenty of boy’s bells! I’ve learned through my travels that it’s not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean. It’s the swing, not the pendulum. A fool with a big dick is like a fishing pole in the Sahara. Right? Use your gift with confidence, make him feel great and you will, too!

DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?

Dear Diva, I fear I might be an alcoholic. I’m a really fun drunk but it’s starting to get in the way of work and I feel fuzzy a lot of the time. AA sounds dreary and too much like a religion – no thank you – and I don’t want to be a party pooper because I’m really fun at parties, so what should I do? Fun drunk or mean drunk, a drunk is a drunk. You need to get a handle on the situation before you lose your job and become a homeless drunk. Listening to all of the sad stories at AA can get you down, but the meetings are like a cleansing for the soul. If you keep things bottled up inside they will eat you alive. Being the life of the party is not worth your job or your liver and if your party friends don’t understand this, they were never really true friends. Chances are you’re the life of the party without a drink. Give it a go. If you can’t do one party without booze it may be time to see help. More: Robbyne Kaamil is an actress and a comedian who has matched wits with Howard Stern and can be seen regularly on Here TV. A popular advice diva, she believes “when a motherfucker hates you for telling the truth, he will respect you for doing it.” Find her on Facebook and email your Dear Diva questions: asktheadvicediva@gmail.com.