Gayer Than Christmas
Once voted America’s favourite comic, Paul Lynde (1926-1982) was best-known as the permanent centre square on the tic-tac-toe quiz show, Hollywood Squares. Although his demeanor and delivery were extremely camp, Lynde only alluded to his homosexuality with humour. He remained a confirmed bachelor, never came out publicly and the press only ever offered hints, such as referring to his partner as his “suite-mate”. The hard drinker died of a heart attack at age 55, but his laughs live on. Here are five of his more memorable zingers with Hollywood
Squares host, Peter Marshall.
Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too
easily.
Peter Marshall: What are ‘dual-purpose’ cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?
Paul Lynde: They give milk… and cookies, but I don’t recommend the cookies.
Peter Marshall: True or false… research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.
Paul Lynde: It’s not easy to sign a crew up for six months…
Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?
Paul Lynde: I’d call him darling!
Peter Marshall: George Bernard Shaw once wrote, ‘It’s such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children!’ What is it?
Paul Lynde: A whipping!