Solve my goddamn problems!
Dear Diva, One of my friends hooked me up on a blind date. This friend has known me for over six years and knows the types of guys I like. This blind date was a disaster! The guy was totally not my type and so unattractive. My friend has been calling me to find out what happened. I have been avoiding her like the plague because she set me up with this dude. I don’t want to say something that will damage our friendship but I am pissed off at her for wasting my time. Dear Pissed Off, I’m sure that your friend had your best interests in mind when she set you up. Perhaps she has some insight into this guy’s personality and thought he was good enough to meet you? I don’t believe in types. When you are looking for love, be open because it may not come wrapped in the package you expect. And you will never know what’s inside if you throw the package away before opening it. Of course you don’t want to date someone who has bad breath and a head full of dandruff. The Vatican would nominate you for sainthood! Call your friend. Tell her you didn’t make a love connection but thank her for her efforts. Always be gracious. You never know – the next one she introduces you to may be Mr Right. Dear Diva, My friend and I used to be the ultimate circuit party boys. It was always sex, drugs and anything else but we were always together until now. He met a great guy and then moved in with him. This is the first serious relationship he’s had in years and I want to be happy for him but I’m not. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. He invited me over for dinner with his new man who is actually a really nice guy. But I felt like the third wheel. Dear Lonely Circuit Boy, Your friend has moved on to a different phase in his life. He has decided to settle down and make a home with a man he seems to care. Be happy for him. You can still be a part of his life. It’s normal for you to have feelings of sadness as your relationship has now evolved, but don’t hang on to the jealously and envy. Those emotions generate negative energy. Change often forces us to ref lect on our lives and take that proverbial look in the mirror. You may be fearful about doing that, but when you do what you fear the fear goes away. Dear Diva, My boyfriend has several times suggested a menage-a-trois with one of our mutual friends, “Toby”. Toby is super sexy and I hate to disappoint my boyfriend but I’m not sure that I am 100 percent on board with the idea. Dear Menage-A-No, Honey, if you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. Nobody li kes to disappoint t heir man but you can’t let anybody disregard your feelings. Threesomes can get messy. If Toby pays you or your boyfriend more attention when you are doing t he nasty somebody is bound to get t heir knickers in a t wist and it will all lead to drama. Keep your man, keep your f riend and keep your hands off Toby’s dick. Let t he choir say amen! Dear Diva, My sister and I recently visited one of our childhood friends. She and her husband often invite us over, and this time we all had a little too much to drink and I could swear I picked up a gay vibe from my friend’s husband. He is a super hot guy and since our last visit I’ve been fantasising about seducing him. I don’t know what has come over me and not sure what to do next? Dear Horny Homewrecker, Do not f uck your friend’s husband! Take a cold shower. Do you know t he pain, devastation and betrayal t hat a move li ke t hat would bring? Think of t he consequences. Do you really want your friend to catch you writhing inf lagrante in her sheets with her man? If her husband is gay let him initiate it with someone else, but it’s more li kely he just had one too many drinks. Some drunk guys will hump a log if it’s within reach.