AM I ADDICTED TO APPS?
WE RECEIVED THIS HEARTFELT HELP MESSAGE FROM A READER, AND PANICKED! SO WE ASKED AN EXPERT TO PROVIDE THE ANSWER…
Last weekend I was at t he pub with my t hree best mates. Two of t hem are in relationships with super nice guys. The t hird has had a couple of long-term relationships. As we were sitting t here having a Sunday arvo beer, I started to t hink, How come, at 32, I’ve never had a real boyfriend?
I’m okay looking, got a job, play sports (hockey), and I can really move on t he dancef loor! I have f lings t hat last a couple of weeks but t hen t hey just fade away or I end up breaking it off because he’s not right.
I asked my mates and t heir answer shocked me. “You’re sexy and confident and accessible – and by ‘accessible’ I mean you’re a slut,” said one of t hem. The others agreed t hat I’m “t he slutt y one” of t he group. (I have tons of sex – but when you’re young and gay everyone does, right?)
My friends asked me when I last met a man without using an app. I’m like, so what if I hook up with guys off apps? Why is t hat different to meeting t hem at t he deli or t he gym? They t hink it’s part of my slut nature. But t he t ruth is, I never hook up in “real life”. Always off my phone. Am I addicted to disposable sex? Has t his made it hard for me to connect with someone else emotionally? Is t his stopping me from f inding a long-term boyfriend?
To be honest, I have been thinking about this a lot and it has started to make me feel sad so please treat this question seriously. Maybe I’m just not ready to settle down, but I’m also worried that I might be missing out on a great boyfriend because I don’t know how to have a relationship?” – K.F., Fitzroy, Vic.