THE CARIBBEAN (ON A GAY CRUISE)

Best for: Every gay person! You have to do a gay cruise once, so why not on your honeymoon? Attractions: Being on a seaborne village with around 5,000 gay men is not just mind-blowing, it’s cock-blowing a lot of time, too. If you want it, that is. While some chide gay cruises as “floating bathhouses” the truth is they can be whatever you want them to be. If you’re a whore, then you’ll be well catered for. If you’re a show queen, you’ll see every show. If you’re a happy new couple, you’ll meet other happy new couples who’ll want to dish about their lavish receptions, extensive guest lists and engraved Tiffany rings. Oh, and the cruise does stop at some of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean, in case you want to drag yourself off the ship at some point. Distractions: Sometimes all that gay in your face can just get too much. Yes, we speak from experience. While a week of just gay men sounds fabulously hedonistic, it can translate into too much partying, recklessness and stuffing yourself rotten at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Not for the faint of heart, nor easily seasick. Romance Factor: True fact – we met monogamous couples on our cruise! We also met couples celebrating wedding anniversaries and couples happy to meet other couples as in really meet them. As a newly-wed couple, decide early how this’ll play out for you. Set the ground rules before it’s ship ahoy otherwise it could be the divorce courts when you dock.

Gay or nay? Grrrl, please!