DON’T BUZZ THE BUSH

You want sexy? Don’t turn your Garden Of Eden into a prickle patch!

THE AWFUL trend of sheering off everything down south continues. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t suggest growing a forest – the answer lies in keeping it groomed-but-natural looking.

Buying a good pair of clippers is the best place to start. I recommend those with an integrated, adjustable comb, rather than a clip-on, so it doesn’t accidentally fall off and slice up your boys. Not all clipper comb lengths are the same, so practice on your leg hair, not your pubes, especially if it’s before a big date.

If you’re worried about being prickly, have your balls waxed. They’ll be as soft and smooth as a baby’s ass. If, however, the idea of having someone slather your balls in hot wax and then rip it all off frightens you, then shave them slowly and gently with a clean, fresh razor and use shaving oil not foam so you can see where you’re going. Shave the shaft and just above where it joins your groin. Do not shave too high into the pubes.

Have a mirror handy and lots of light – now is not the time for mood lighting. Now the tricky part: with the clipper setting on 2 (the hair should be short but not prickly) start clipping from the outside of your pubes and trim in equally from either side, so that the area not trimmed above your dick is about three or four times the width of your dick and rectangular in shape. This gives your pubes a better shape.

Now, have a look in the mirror and see how it looks. Make sure that it’s even on both sides. If the shape isn’t right for you, fix it, but do it slowly from both sides. With the patch of hair that’s left, use the clippers on setting number 4 to trim it back and then if you want shorter, go over it with a number 3.

Remember two things. One, the finish on hair clipping always looks better and more natural a few days after it’s been done. Two, if you want to trim your pubes to make your dick look bigger, six inches is still six inches in the dark.