Dear Diva

YOU’VE GOT BIG GAY PROB­LEMS… SHE’S GOT STRAIGHT-TALKING AN­SWERS!

DNA Magazine - - ADVICE - with Rob­byne Kaamil

Dear Diva,

I am 52. I re­ally like younger guys. I started dat­ing a 25-year-old ac­tor two weeks ago. We had planned to go out for din­ner this week and he can­celled on me at the last minute. This is the se­cond time he has done this. My friends tell me that I should start dat­ing more ma­ture guys, but I love the hot, young sexy boys. But they al­ways end up break­ing my heart. Are my friends right? Dear Daddy,

Ein­stein, or some other wise-ass moth­er­fucker, said that the def­i­ni­tion of in­san­ity is do­ing the same thing over and over again and ex­pect­ing dif­fer­ent results. Your friends are right. If you want a long-term re­la­tion­ship find a more ma­ture guy. You can al­ways keep yourself a hot piece of ass on the side when you want to get freaky. Who knows, maybe your new “age ap­pro­pri­ate” part­ner will share your ap­pre­ci­a­tion of hot-ass-naughty boys and the two of you can play away to­gether. Honey, if you can get the best of both worlds, scoop it up! Dear Diva,

I have been dat­ing a great guy for the last two months. He is gor­geous, the sex is amaz­ing, and he is so kind and sen­si­tive. We are get­ting along great. But he said some­thing to me this week that re­ally shocked me. He told me that he doesn’t think he is good enough for me and that I should find some­one else. I don’t know what to do. How can I show him he is good enough for me? Dear Not Good Enough,

Oh, my poor, sweet, in­no­cent child. I’ll just put away my um­brella as you must’ve come down in the last shower. He doesn’t mean it! This moth­er­fucker ob­vi­ously wants to move on. This is his cow­ardly way of telling you that he doesn’t want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with you. Fuck him. Move on. Find some­one else. Men are like trains – there’ll be an­other one pulling into the sta­tions in a few min­utes, hope­fully with less bag­gage in the over­head com­part­ment. Dear Diva,

I have been liv­ing with my boyfriend for over three years. We live a great life. My boyfriend is very wealthy, but over this past year he has be­come more con­trol­ling. He doesn’t want me to go out with my friends. He calls me con­stantly to find out where I am and who I am with. He wants me to come straight home from work and I can only go to the gym with him. I am start­ing to feel like a pris­oner.

Dear Pris­oner Of Love,

This is what hap­pens when you sell your soul (and your ass) to the devil for 30 pieces of sil­ver. You got im­pressed by the good life and ev­ery­thing this man could of­fer. You do have choices. You can leave or you can stay. If you stay, don’t com­plain and whine. Ac­cept his bull­shit and shut the fuck up. If you have the balls to leave, do it now while you still have some dig­nity. Dear Diva,

I re­cently asked my boyfriend to move in with me and he’s keen for us take that next step. But… last week my brother asked me to move in with me. He lost his job – again. His lease is run­ning out. He won’t be able to get a rental with­out a job. Yes, he is very ir­re­spon­si­ble, but he’s my brother. He’s fam­ily. We’re sup­posed to sup­port each other, right? I don’t know what to do.

Dear Con­fused,

Fuck your brother. You are not his mother. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. Go ahead with you plans to move your man in.

MORE: Rob­byne Kaamil is a re­la­tion­ship ex­pert on TV, ra­dio, and at Play­girl.com. She is also an ac­tress, co­me­dian and singer. Find her on FB, Twit­ter @rob­bynekaamil, and email your con­fi­den­tial Dear Diva ques­tions to: ask­t­head­vice­[email protected]

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