2018: THE YEAR IN MUSIC
Calvin and Sam promised “everything”, anal sex “bloomed”, and Taylor and Kanye’s divine feud went weird.
Calvin and Sam coupled, anal sex “bloomed”, and Taylor and Kanye’s divine feud went weird.
GAYEST RECORD OF THE YEAR
It was a drag race to the finish (minus the drag) between Kylie Minogue doing her best Dolly Parton on Golden, and Cher morphing into the female half of ABBA on Dancing Queen. For its “does-what-it-says-on-the-box” title alone, Cher is the winner who takes it all.
MOST FIERCE DIVA BATTLE
2018 was a monumental year for divadom’s greatest foes – Taylor Swift and Kanye West. Taylor reinvented herself as a “small L” liberal while Kanye went bonkers in a MAGA hat that left even Trump speechless. That’s how crazy US politics is right now, folks!
DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR
It was a year in which the stakes were raised so high in gay pop that no one couldn’t rest on your laurels, as Years & Years did, suffering a second-album slump on Palo Santo. Perhaps the third album’s the charm, lads… or time for that big solo statement record instead, Olly?
MOST WELCOME RETURN
Both ABBA and Madonna announced they’d release new music – then didn’t. So Best Returnee award is a Nordic tie. In the one igloo, Icelandic resident John Grant with his gruff electronica, Love Is Magic, while back from the dark side, Sweden’s Robyn shone brightly with her bittersweet Honey.
GENDERBENDER OF THE YEAR
There were plenty of pretenders to the crown, but it fell to a true French femme fatale, Christine And The Queens, to bring gender illusionism back to the charts with her seductive valentine to gay men, the aptly-titled album Chris.
MOST DEARLY DEPARTED
If there’s a gospel choir in heaven, we know who’s in charge – Aretha Franklin. Forever the diva, she passed away smack-bang in the middle of Madonna’s 60th birthday celebrations, the Soul Queen upstaging the Material Girl. R.E.S.P.E.C.T, ’Retha!
Christine And The Queens brought gender illusionism back to the charts…
BEST “GAY” COUPLE
Calvin Harris and Sam Smith alluded to downlow gay stuff on Promises, the pair’s #1 track and video. It wasn’t so much the gaggle of glittery voguers, more that Calvin and Sam striking Zoolander butch/bitch poses together suggested they’d secretly shagged. We live in hope.
CLOSET GAY HYMN OF THE YEAR
Step up to the podium, again, Sam Smith, this time for HIM, featured on his sumptuous second album, The Thrill Of It All. Cruelly not released as a single, SS’s little-heard gospel-tinged hymn tackles anti-gay religious homophobia and swinging southern fruits all at once. Lord, have mercy!
YEAR’S MOST ADORABLE ODE TO ANAL SEX
The title track to Troye Sivan’s second album Bloom, implores his lover to “take a trip into my garden” that “I’ve been saving just for you”. To compensate for his overtly anal adventures, Troye spent the rest of 2018 duetting with every female he could including Ariana Grande and Charli XCX.
Troye implored his lover to take a trip into his garden…
Gender bender: Christine.
Political: Taylor Swift.
Cherry popped: Troye Sivan.
Calvin Harris and Sam Smith.