2018: THE YEAR IN MU­SIC

Calvin and Sam promised “ev­ery­thing”, anal sex “bloomed”, and Tay­lor and Kanye’s divine feud went weird.

DNA Magazine - - CONTENTS - By Marc An­drews

Calvin and Sam cou­pled, anal sex “bloomed”, and Tay­lor and Kanye’s divine feud went weird.

GAYEST RECORD OF THE YEAR

It was a drag race to the fin­ish (mi­nus the drag) be­tween Kylie Minogue do­ing her best Dolly Par­ton on Golden, and Cher mor­ph­ing into the fe­male half of ABBA on Danc­ing Queen. For its “does-what-it-says-on-the-box” ti­tle alone, Cher is the win­ner who takes it all.

MOST FIERCE DIVA BAT­TLE

2018 was a mon­u­men­tal year for di­vadom’s great­est foes – Tay­lor Swift and Kanye West. Tay­lor reinvented her­self as a “small L” lib­eral while Kanye went bonkers in a MAGA hat that left even Trump speech­less. That’s how crazy US pol­i­tics is right now, folks!

DIS­AP­POINT­MENT OF THE YEAR

It was a year in which the stakes were raised so high in gay pop that no one couldn’t rest on your lau­rels, as Years & Years did, suf­fer­ing a sec­ond-al­bum slump on Palo Santo. Per­haps the third al­bum’s the charm, lads… or time for that big solo state­ment record in­stead, Olly?

MOST WEL­COME RE­TURN

Both ABBA and Madonna an­nounced they’d re­lease new mu­sic – then didn’t. So Best Re­turnee award is a Nordic tie. In the one igloo, Ice­landic res­i­dent John Grant with his gruff elec­tron­ica, Love Is Magic, while back from the dark side, Swe­den’s Robyn shone brightly with her bit­ter­sweet Honey.

GENDERBEND­ER OF THE YEAR

There were plenty of pre­tenders to the crown, but it fell to a true French femme fa­tale, Chris­tine And The Queens, to bring gen­der il­lu­sion­ism back to the charts with her se­duc­tive valen­tine to gay men, the aptly-ti­tled al­bum Chris.

MOST DEARLY DE­PARTED

If there’s a gospel choir in heaven, we know who’s in charge – Aretha Franklin. For­ever the diva, she passed away smack-bang in the mid­dle of Madonna’s 60th birth­day cel­e­bra­tions, the Soul Queen up­stag­ing the Ma­te­rial Girl. R.E.S.P.E.C.T, ’Retha!

Chris­tine And The Queens brought gen­der il­lu­sion­ism back to the charts…

BEST “GAY” COU­PLE

Calvin Har­ris and Sam Smith al­luded to down­low gay stuff on Prom­ises, the pair’s #1 track and video. It wasn’t so much the gag­gle of glit­tery voguers, more that Calvin and Sam strik­ing Zoolan­der butch/bitch poses to­gether sug­gested they’d se­cretly shagged. We live in hope.

CLOSET GAY HYMN OF THE YEAR

Step up to the podium, again, Sam Smith, this time for HIM, fea­tured on his sump­tu­ous sec­ond al­bum, The Thrill Of It All. Cru­elly not re­leased as a sin­gle, SS’s lit­tle-heard gospel-tinged hymn tack­les anti-gay religious ho­mo­pho­bia and swing­ing south­ern fruits all at once. Lord, have mercy!

YEAR’S MOST ADORABLE ODE TO ANAL SEX

The ti­tle track to Troye Si­van’s sec­ond al­bum Bloom, im­plores his lover to “take a trip into my gar­den” that “I’ve been sav­ing just for you”. To com­pen­sate for his overtly anal ad­ven­tures, Troye spent the rest of 2018 duet­ting with ev­ery fe­male he could in­clud­ing Ari­ana Grande and Charli XCX.

Troye im­plored his lover to take a trip into his gar­den…

Gen­der ben­der: Chris­tine.

Po­lit­i­cal: Tay­lor Swift.

Cherry popped: Troye Si­van.

Calvin Har­ris and Sam Smith.

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