OUR STRAIGHT MATES: TIM FERGUSON
From The Doug Anthony All Stars to writer, teacher, artist, director and producer, Tim Ferguson is back with a new show.
“Once, on stage, my pants fell down… Nobody complained,” quips the sexy Aussie comedian.
DNA: Tell us about your new show A Fast Life On Wheels.
Tim Ferguson: It’s autobiographical but, like all creative projects, veers off into unexpected alleys, from ancient Egypt all the way to my birth and the present day. A lot of the things we’re dealing with, such as Trump, all started with the pyramids. They were the first inklings that people were getting organized, so the trouble all started there. The show’s about celebrating a lack of organisation! Your book Carry A Big Stick and documentary Tick Fucking Tock brought your Multiple Sclerosis to everyone’s attention. Do you think people have a good understanding of MS?
I think people are pretty aware of MS, but one thing concerning all people with disabilities is that employment levels are dismal. That’s everything from Down Syndrome to Multiple Sclerosis to acquired injuries. People with a disability are perfectly capable of doing stuff, like the Paralympics, for example. If they can play tennis or enter diving competitions, they can work in people’s stores. Research has shown that IWD (Individuals With Disabilities) turn up on time, stay late and don’t bitch and moan. They make better employees and it makes a business look like they give a shit.
I’ve been to gay bars but most of the time I don’t get hit on. Despite the rumours, gay men tend to be quite shy…
Along with Paul McDermott and Richard Fidler, you were part of The Doug Anthony All Stars comedy act in the ’90s. Fond memories? We were drunk most of the time, I remember that! We were turning up in strange countries and surprising everyone simply because we were from Australia and had read books. It was an exhausting sort of life.
What was been the best thing about The Doug Anthony All Stars reunion?
Our audience hadn’t gone anywhere. We assumed the audience would’ve found some new toy, but it turns out there’s nobody doing that aggressive, provocative and sometimes offensive, hyperactive musical comedy, anywhere in the world. Most comedians don’t even sing, little alone walk on stage and pick a fight with the audience. It’s been great fun. Back in the early days of the DAAS, gay boys drooled over you. Were you aware of that? No, but I imagine they would’ve! How could you drool over Paul? Too short. And Richard’s too nice. Whereas I was tall, dark and handsome, rich and famous… and polite!
But you must’ve been to gay bars and been hit on by guys?
I’ve been to gay bars but most of the time I don’t get hit on. Despite the rumours, gay men tend to be quite shy about throwing themselves at people. I’ve been flirted with but there’s never been a time where I’ve thought someone’s coming on too strong.
Who are your best gay mates?
I’ve got a couple in Sydney who tell me they’re gay but they’ve never actually proven it to me. And I get on very well with my lesbian friends. There’s something about their sense of humour that I find quite devilish.
What are your memories of playing FrankN-Furter in the 1998 Rocky Horror Show at Sydney’s Star City?
That was great! At least in the fishnets I didn’t overheat. The five-inch heels were tricky. During rehearsals I went through a lot of shoes! By the time we did the show, I’d learnt how to strut. The interesting thing about FrankN-Furter is that, to my surprise, he doesn’t mince. He’s highly charged and aggressive, very masculine and sexually veracious.
What do you think of sitcom reboots?
They’re great. The audiences already love the show, whereas a new sitcom can fall over because of unfamiliar characters. Look at Will And Grace: they’re talking about Trump and gender fluidity and all the modern interesting things. Roseanne was going well until she opened her mouth on Twitter, but The Conners is well written and sharp, and they’re talking about things happening now.
What do you say to a Funky Squad reboot? Funky Squad was a reboot of its own, rebooting ’70s cop shows. It was fun, but I can’t imagine what a reboot of a reboot would look like. You teach a comedy-writing master class and wrote the screenwriting manual, The Cheeky Monkey. Do you think that writing or performing comedy is a natural gift?
It’s a craft. There might be some who are naturally gifted at writing, but I haven’t met them. You have to build a comedy from the ground up and eventually obey certain ancient principles that make people laugh. If you avoid them, because you’re being clever, it can still be fantastic, but nobody will laugh out loud. Comedy has pretty simple principles and once you know them, it saves you lots of time. So natural talent is of no use. The craft is what it’s all about.
Do you like old school comedy such as Lucille Ball, Don Rickles or the Carry On films?
Yes, they’re always good fun, but what’s interesting is that the principles and scaffolding of those old comedies are exactly the same underpinning modern comedies. Whether you’re talking about The Mighty Boosh, The Office or any other smart-arse comedy, they’re all based on Carry On films, I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners and, of course, Abbott and Costello’s routines.
When it comes to music, who’s your diva?
I love Streisand. The way she plays that voice. What breath control! She can hold a note as pure and strong as if it’s being blasted out of an elephant’s lung! I’ll also say Lily Tomlin. Sure, she can’t sing, but she can talk up a storm! Have you ever had an on-set wardrobe malfunction?
Once, on stage in London, my pants fell down. They were getting old and just collapsed off my belt. Nobody complained, of course, they were all so damn impressed. In fact, there was a respectable silence.
Once, on stage in London, my pants fell down… Nobody complained, they were all so damn impressed!
MORE: A Fast Life On Wheels kicks off this month in Perth. Go to cheekymonkeycomedy. com