Home schooling good for sibling friendships
WHEN people meet Elissa Gaffney, they are often surprised by how ‘normal’ she is. The Canberra social worker laughs as she talks about her upbringing in Dubbo where she and her three siblings were home schooled by both parents.
“People do say ‘you are so normal’ if I mention that I was home schooled,” she says.
There seems to be a misconception that home schooled children are socially inept because they have their learning environment in the home.
But in many cases, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I was dorky as a teenager but we did socialise and I’m very extroverted now,” Elissa says. As one of four children, Elissa enjoyed a happy and busy childhood, which included loving, doting parents who shared the home schooling duties.
“It was lovely to have both parents involved, really special and really rare. It was really valuable to have both parents there encouraging you. Mum even worked on some of the curriculum.”
Elissa has fond memories of primary school, but says her secondary schooling was more of a challenge.
“It was really fabulous in the early days, especially in primary school. You can set your own goals and work at your own pace, it was flexible with time. We used to get up early and do work and then have the rest of the day to play. We did still work at different stages though because of the age gap between us. It’s good to have other people to challenge and motivate you.”
“It was harder in the high school years. It was challenging to stay motivated and do work. I’m not as academically minded so it was difficult to stay focused.”
The Gaffney children were fortunate that their home schooling included many extracurricular activities.
“We went on excursions, we did music, drama, dance and team sports. I also did art lessons and we had church gatherings.”
They had lots of friends and being home schooled with siblings brought them all closer together.
“It was good for building sibling friendships,” Elissa said. “We built really solid relationships with each other and with our parents.”
There were plenty of benefits to their home schooling along with a few challenges.
“Initially it was fine because we had fun. We didn’t have to wear a uniform. We avoided peer pressure challenges like bullying. We did have time frames, but it was up to you when you finish and there were extra goals, I was cooler with friends who were jealous.”
Later on, one of the hurdles was gaining exam experience.
“We didn’t have the same standards of testing so we needed to do a standardised achievement test (to get into university) because we didn’t get a UAI. We tried to get practice for testing to see where we rated because we didn’t have lots of exam experience.”
One of the downsides for Elissa was that, as a teenager, she felt awkward and was unfamiliar with pop culture topics and ‘in-jokes’ that others learned in the schoolyard. But this could have occurred regardless of her home schooling.
“I did feel awkward, I was not quite sure how to interact. But the teenage years are awkward anyway – learning how to make friends. I don’t know what it would have been like going to school.”
All in all, Elissa speaks of her home schooling favourably and says she would teach her own children at home.
“Our parents instilled healthy values which we could expand on. It doesn’t hold you back from opportunities in later life, it doesn’t have any negative impact. It was extremely positive and I would recommend it.
“I would do it with my kids in primary school, because I learned how to read and write really well at home. I also think it would work better with a few children, not just one, and if I could be as involved as my parents.”
Elissa now work in a women’s refuge and has a real love of helping people, believing that her upbringing shaped her caring nature.
“It’s extremely valuable to have a close family.”