THE POWER OF CONVERSATIONS FOR VETERANS
BRIGETTE Glynn is, literally, a different person to the lady I first spoke to just before Anzac Day last year.
While she had good memories from her time in uniform, she’d also experienced trauma sufficient to see her diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an ailment which sapped her confidence in herself.
When husband Luke, also a veteran, initially contacted Dubbo Photo News it was to make a comment about how Anzac Day was portrayed in the media, and during that conversation he agreed to tell his story, and Brigette came along and shared hers as well.
She said she was incredibly fearful at how her story was going to be portrayed, taking an incredible leap of faith entrusting her soul to the local newspaper.
“It was huge, huge, I was so scared to the point of not sleeping before it came out, and the biggest fear was of being ridiculed, of people reading it and going, ‘Oh, she’s just after sympathy,’ and that type of thing,” Mrs Glynn revealed.
She believes that fear of being publicly shamed was a huge weight on the minds of so many people who’d served in the Australian military, people who were worried that while they’d tried to do their best, others would view their contributions in an unsympathetic light.
“One hundred per cent, it is probably one of the biggest things that you are worried about because when you’re in the military, even if you have a common cold and go to the medical centre, it’s frowned upon and people automatically think you’re malingering, that you’re faking it. So in order to come out and do that, or to come out and say anything to anyone about your concerns and fears, you’re 100 per cent thinking
that people aren’t going to believe you.”
When the article came out, she couldn’t believe how much the reactions from locals sparked positive conversations, eventually helping to restore her confidence.
“It was huge, the article opened up the conversations that made me feel like I had served, so I joined the RSL Sub-branch and I spoke with some of the other veterans and they were so welcoming,” she said.
“I then joined the Air Force cadets as staff, so it made me take that huge leap of faith to go back into a system that’s very similar to the military and I wasn’t as fearful of it as I used to be.”
Husband Luke agrees that opening up, for many, is an incredibly difficult and torturous first step.
“Telling my story to Dubbo Photo News, when it was published it made it easier for me to open up,” he said.
“Even when talking to my own clients, I’m now able to explain my situation and my story without the judgement that’s involved in any of these kinds of things – that’s the biggest fear I guess for any veteran, the judgement that comes with your story and by having it out there.
“People actually said, ‘I didn’t realise that you actually did that, I didn’t realise that was an actual thing.’ It makes you open up a conversation and that’s probably the biggest benefit for most people – being actually able to have the confidence to open a conversation.”
He said so many people read the story and wanted to show they supported him. His story in Dubbo Photo News gave others the inclination to talk about it with Luke and find out more about his story – many people were even interested in the stories behind his various tattoos which were pictured with the article, Luke said.
“(The tattoos) have been a big conversation starter because all of a sudden people were saying they’d seen them in Dubbo Photo News and they’d ask me to tell them more. When I start to explain our story to people, they then realise there’s a lot involved, and because I’m so passionate about (being a veteran), that gave me the confidence to actually talk about what’s going on my life,” he said.
Prior to the story, Luke said the couple were so lucky to have found each other, not least for the mutual support, but they had a real sense – on a daily basis – that it was them against the world.
He said finding not just likemined veterans who served, but also people in general who read the story and are very empathetic towards their sacrifices and respectful of their service, has been a gamechanger when it comes to happiness.
“It gives you a lot of... I keep using the word confidence. Brigette and I have been very lucky to have each other to fall back on, but we now call others within our community, especially members within the Sub-branch,” Mr Glynn said.
“(The longer-term RSL members) have been more than supportive and loving, they’re becoming our surrogate grandparents, our older brothers, our fathers, mothers, our family, and that allows us to have that confidence to have those discussions we need to have – and we know that if we have troubles, somebody’s going to be there.”
Luke said he now understands just how many people are in the same situation he was a year ago, and that’s created the drive to help.
Along with Brigette, he’s determined to do whatever he can to ensure the veterans’ support cottage being set up by the Dubbo Sub-branch will help to engage some of those who are suffering, with about two-thirds of local veterans not engaged with the organisation – many disaffected vets see it as part of the ‘establishment’ which let them down.
“We have a lot of veterans within this community that just don’t want to come to an RSL. We’re hoping that with the cottage they will feel welcome, that they’ll feel like they can come back into the circle, and we’re hoping that’s what this cottage is all about, have a coffee, sit down, not be judged, say what you want to say,” he said.
He’s not only incredibly proud of how Brigette has blossomed personally, he’s over the moon by the way she’s working overtime to support other vets who may be struggling.
“Brigette’s come leaps and bounds in 12 months and it makes you proud to be associated with her. I’m proud of the work that she’s doing at her job, and the love and support that she gets through the Sub-branch is just amazing, but we want that to extend to everybody who needs it,” he said, talking about the Salute to Service Ball that Brigette is helping to organise.
She takes up the story. “I thought this is the perfect opportunity to use some skills which I did learn while I was in the Army. I used to run our yearly balls, I always got put on the committees, so it was something that I knew how to do. I popped my hand up and I’ve been fully supported the whole way through,” she said.
“I feel more part of the community than I ever have, I feel valued by the guys at the RSL. What I’m doing lifts me up and it’s also boosted my confidence hugely.”
She said her traumatic experiences had basically locked her out mentally from being part of the community and that without that physical social interaction, life can be very lonely. Now she’s keen to pass her recent experiences on to other vets and help them to regain their trust in their fellow humans.
“Take that step. It’s huge but, as hard as what it is, you will feel as if you’re back in the service and so supported.
“It’ll feel like you’re back home. That’s how it feels for me when I go to the Sub-branch meetings or a catch-up with the ‘boys’ – I am 100 per cent feeling like I’m back in,” she said.
“There are no words to say how glad I am, I’m so glad that Luke put it out there and that we did it, it’s made my confidence 100 per cent better, it’s helped me at work, with everything – to be honest, it’s helped me to feel like ‘me’ again, a happy person again.”
Luke hopes the ball will become an integral part of the annual local calendar and believes plenty of Dubbo residents will welcome the chance to say ‘thanks’ to those who’ve served.
“I think for every defence member, you give up your life as who you are and become a person dedicated to the betterment of Australia. We all defend the flag, we all stand by that flag, and it’s nice when people actually say ‘thankyou’, even if we get embarrassed by that.”