Kindness costs nothing, means everything
PROLIFIC Dubbo author Kerrie Phipps has launched a new book which shares valuable insights from lessons learned during two years of the world’s first global pandemic in a century.
She says the lessons she shares in “How To Talk To Strangers” are pretty simple, but explains that with our increasingly busy and insular lives, too many people don’t even realise they aren’t taking the time to establish the most basic connections with their fellow human beings.
That’s borne out by new research which shows Australians have been less socially distancing and more socially distant. That research found that 48 per cent of Aussies are choosing to spend more time on their own as a result of COVID restrictions, 35 per cent say they’re feeling less confident in their ability to organise and participate in social activities, and 25 per cent constantly find themselves looking at a screen when around others.
“I interviewed friends from all around the world because I wanted to share how it’s universal that ‘connection’ matters to everybody,” Mrs Phipps told Dubbo Photo News.
“I wanted to start conversations about moments with strangers where you’ve connected with somebody and it’s turned into something more beautiful than you expected; something that’s just lifted your spirits for the day or you’ve had that impact on somebody else,” she said.
“I want to encourage people that you make a bigger difference than you know, that your small act of kindness, your stepping aside for somebody, your moment of courtesy, or listening to somebody is having a greater ripple effect than you realise.
“The ripple effect is behind you so you don’t see it, you just go on your way, but it really matters that we’re just more aware of each other; aware of the fact that everybody is going through ‘stuff’.
“We don’t know about the story that somebody else is carrying, and if we can have a little more empathy and compassion for ourselves and each other then we really do make a more significant difference in the world.
“We brighten our communities just by giving a little of our best to others,” Mrs Phipps said.
The new book contains all kinds of stories, from local cafes and German train stations to Korean love-hotels. There are all kinds of entertaining and moving stories from people who connect in their everyday life.
She said the people she interviewed for her book are not all speakers or authors, they’re just people going about doing their thing and sharing moments where they’ve appreciated the connection of a stranger, or where they’ve realised that they’ve made a difference to somebody’s life.
Mrs Phipps added that the pandemic has forced people to do all sorts of things differently.
Her book was launched globally along with the co-authors featured in the book, reaching more than 1000 people through the event which was aired live on Facebook and Youtube.
“We’ve had to do things differently and I think when we are confronted with what we can’t do, we need to ask, ‘Well, what can I do?’ I can’t go and visit my grandma, maybe I can write her a letter, maybe I can pick up the phone, maybe I can send a text message or flowers from the garden.’
“There’s so many ways that we can connect with people, and by connecting – especially in a way that serves others – then it comes back to us as well. We can’t put a smile on someone’s face without having that positive effect on ourselves as well,” she said.
“Maybe we can think about what we would want if we were in lockdown, maybe you have been in lockdown, and you understand how isolating it is... (ask yourself) what is just one small thing that could help?”
When Mrs Phipps and husband Lyndon came back home from a trip to India in March 2020, they were caught at the forefront of a travel shock as borders began closing and rules and regulations were changing on a seemingly hourly basis.
She said the outpouring of human kindness they received was overwhelming.
“We had people offering all sorts of things, they were dropping off toilet rolls, and Henry from Black Tambourine was delivering coffee to us at the end of the day,” Mrs Phipps said.
“I have little cards that I get from Dubbo Printing Works and when you open them there’s an inspirational quote inside, so I’ll give them to a barista or people who serve at the frontline and then I’ll go in six months later and see that card sitting on their front counter and they’ll tell me they pick it up and read it from time to time, and that’s just come from a little gesture.
“A lady told me going to Black Tambourine is the heart of her day, she’s got a baby, she’s made to feel welcome, accepted, she’s not an inconvenience; Henry is far more people-focussed than business-focussed, he’s not just trying to get people in and out and you can feel that.”
It’s that personal touch, those human connections that cost little or nothing, that Kerrie Phipps says is the real glue that holds society together and enables individuals to feel part of communities.