Hellboy: Web Of Wyrd
The pitch sells itself. ‘Hades meets God Hand in an over-the-shoulder thirdperson beat-’em-up’ sounds appealing; factor in a protagonist with a right hand made of stone that hits like a sledgehammer and it becomes more appetising still. Consider, too, that developer Upstream Arcade’s West Of Dead borrowed the stark colours and shadows of Mike Mignola’s art, and Web Of Wyrd seems like an open-goal opportunity. As, of course, did the idea of a cinematic reboot starring David Harbour and directed by the man behind The Descent. And we know how that turned out.
Warning bells ring out from the opening moments of this listless brawler. Its cut-price presentation is immediately concerning: it’s a curiously ragged approximation of Mignola’s crisp linework, coming across as slapdash rather than appealingly simple, if close enough to just about pass muster. At any rate, the visuals are the least of Hellboy’s sins. Its setup and structure are lifted from Supergiant’s genre-leading Roguelike: you move between rooms of an otherworldly labyrinth, gradually powering up via blessings from mythical allies. Although here the selection of offerings is embarrassingly meagre, with few having any meaningful effect on how you approach its battles.
It makes sense that Upstream Arcade should focus on its lead’s Right Hand Of Doom, but the result is deadeningly repetitive: every combat room contains a string of dull-witted ‘mooks’ that can be destroyed in a single punch, dropping gems that top up an armour gauge which enemies must break through to chip away our hero’s health. The same, alas, applies to Hellboy’s larger opponents, which makes the early stages profoundly tedious, particularly when they cower behind a shield or protective arm – a strategy that only prolongs the agony. The measured pace that encouraged precision and care in West Of Dead makes little sense for a brawler; the result is irritatingly sluggish, whether you’re wading in with fists or retreating to fire your pistol (which would be overpowered if not for its painfully slow reloads).
Web Of Wyrd does a terrible job of explaining itself, though once we get to grips with its combat, we wonder if that’s a deliberate ploy to extend its duration; likewise a narrative twist that requires you to trudge through the same four dungeons three times over. Soon enough we hit upon a couple of approaches that make mincemeat of any opponent, not that the lycans or walking bats of later stages represent any advance on the golems of the first. There is, at least, a pleasing weight to impacts as you thump enemies into walls or slam them into the floor. Good job, too, since there’s precious little else to enjoy here.