LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Turning 50 isn’t without its challenges, but it’s possible to learn to love your hard-won grey hairs

How many times have I heard myself say beauty is in the eye of the beholder – a beautiful sentiment designed to make others feel better about themselves. It’s a mantra I thought I truly believed until I woke up one morning aged 50 and began to feel less comfortable in my own skin. On November 9, 2015, I posted a photo of an adult woman lying in the foetal position to my social media accounts. My friends knew the day was going to be hard for me.

While I’ve accomplished much in my career – from being a magazine editor at 23 to now as a media executive and published author who sits on many boards – when I look in the mirror each evening, the next 30 years flash before my eyes. At the corners of those eyes are lines that reveal I’m no longer the young woman I see in my mind’s eye. I apply far too much anti-wrinkle eye cream to the traitorous area twice a day to try to stave off time. I lather my face with anti-ageing night creams, the very best French, American, Italian lotions belying my middle-class income and pointing instead to a woman of considerable means. The quality and quantity of skincare I’ve used since my twenties could’ve been traded for an investment property.

But time doesn’t discern and beauty fades for us all. And no-one feels the effects of faded beauty as much as a woman who has been surrounded by beautiful women for her entire career, save, of course, for those beautiful women themselves. I work in an industry that creates beautiful images of youthful women who never seem to age beyond 30. Thirty also happens to be the

optimum age for the readership of the magazines I produce – including this one – and the average age of the content makers, all of whom seem to have skin so glorious they could be featured in the magazine if they weren’t working on its creation. Yes, counting the years as they slip away in that daily environment is tough.

I have spent the majority of my life avoiding being chosen for my looks. I’m smart, not beautiful! But no matter what public persona we have chosen for ourselves, privately every woman, every person, wants to feel attractive in the eyes of the one they love or hope to one day love. And so the anti-ageing creams become all-consuming. And the images that I post to Instagram are always edited with a flattering filter. The harsh light of day is no longer my friend.

Photos with girlfriends of my generation are followed by wishful statements of trim arms, flat stomachs and firm butts. And don’t get us started on jowls and chins. I sign up for weekly yoga classes in an effort to retain the flexibility of my youth. It helps; I can still do the splits. My days as a young dancer in which my calf muscles developed superhuman strength will no doubt enable me to wear stunning sky-high heels years beyond many of my peers. I lather my legs, my entire body, with rich moisturisers. I devour calcium tablets in an effort to keep my body upright beyond nature’s plan.

I refuse to go grey naturally. I vow to never allow my hair to betray me. Hair dye that banishes grey is the democratised elixir of youth. But it’s not the only youth elixir in my repertoire. Supermodel Elle Macpherson is peddling a concoction that surely holds back time. She professes to drink it every day and we could do considerably worse than look like her. So I choose the promise and live in hope.

But while I slather on creams and dabble in potions, there’s a limit to the lengths I’ll go to in the pursuit of eternal youth. Actresses Diane Lane and Julia Roberts are two women who have inspired my determination to resist Botox or cosmetic surgery. Lane is 10 months my elder so I’m literally ageing with her, while Roberts is a couple of years behind me. Both are fortunate to have been born beautiful, but, unlike many of their acting peers, have chosen to age “naturally”. Earlier this year, Lane said: “I rehearsed 50. I kind of stared at it a long time. I wasn’t going to let it terrify me.”

More terrifying, perhaps, is the frozen-in-time look that has become surprisingly commonplace among women in their fifties. Cat eyes, flat cheeks, supersmooth porcelain-look skin, pumped-up lips. It’s vanity on acid. It’s also more likely to expose your age.

I tell myself that vanity won’t overrule reason. I will refuse Botox, fillers, vow to never go under the knife. I will never inject my lips, and there isn’t a boob job or butt lift in my future regardless of what gravity may do to my body as the years progress. Easy to say now, I’m told, that I look young for my age. I was also told that a woman becomes invisible at 40. But older men still check me out, sometimes younger men, too. At the age of 50, that’s empowering.

Even more empowering is the growing respect I’ve experienced as I reach new milestones in my work. I’d like to think that a clever, experienced woman of any age can command the regard of her colleagues, both male and female – I’ve never been one to be put in my place no matter my rank or position. But I do take pleasure in the knowledge that the confidence and wisdom gained over three decades of honing my skill set has helped to inspire the trust of my peers and mentorees. As a driven career woman as well as a mother and wife, that alone is worth the wayward white hairs that have sprung up along the way. Only time will tell if the adage that it’s best to grow old gracefully holds true. I love the idea of it, but what of the reality? At the risk of contradicting myself, if being graceful requires surrendering completely to the ageing process, then count me out. I’ll hold tight to the superficial benefits offered by “miracle” cosmetics and genius hairdressers (don’t tell me Diane doesn’t love a good blow-dry). For as long as my mind tells me I’m still 30, my visage will be under pressure to keep the dream reasonably alive.

TERRIFYING, “MORE PERHAPS, IS FROZEN-IN-TIME LOOK THE THAT HAS BECOME SURPRISINGLY WOMEN IN COMMONPLACE AMONG THEIR FIFTIES. CAT EYES, FLAT CHEEKS, SUPER-SMOOTH PORCELAINLOOK SKIN, PUMPED-UP LIPS. IT’S VANITY ON ACID. IT’S ALSO MORE LIKELY TO EXPOSE YOUR AGE… THERE BOOB JOB BUTT LIFT ISN’T A OR IN MY FUTURE REGARDLESS OF WHAT GRAVITY MAY DO TO MY BODY AS THE YEARS PROGRESS”