ELLE (Australia)

I KNOW

The women who have us truly excited about growing up share what they know, the lessons they’ve learnt no such thing as and why there’s acting your age

- COMPILED BY MEG MASON

NO-ONE BUT YOU CAN HOLD YOU BACK.

So step out, be courageous and true to your values. Make sure that whatever you do has a positive impact on people and our planet. Enriching yourself is perfectly fine, as long as it’s not at the expense of anyone else, or harmful to anything.

I have no regrets about a single way my journey has evolved. But if I could give advice to my younger self, it would be to trust my instincts and be braver in some of my choices. My resilience, determinat­ion and capacity to take action have been critical to my profession­al success, as well as surroundin­g myself with extraordin­ary people who continue to make me look good!

– RONNI KAHN

THE FOUNDER OF OZHARVEST, A CHARITY THAT DISTRIBUTE­S SURPLUS RESTAURANT FOOD TO PEOPLE IN NEED, WHO’S ALSO WORKING WITH THE GOVERNMENT TO HALVE FOOD WASTE BY 2030. SHE IS 65.

I BELIEVE THE CLICHÈ “TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE” IS USEFUL.

Also useful is “the readiness is all” – both from Hamlet. They suggest that you keep your guiding principles at the forefront of your daily living; plus it’s a good idea to keep yourself in readiness – so as to take advantage of any opportunit­y. Carpe diem! I would add my favourite advice, which is to “keep your tools sharpened” by maintainin­g your health: all aspects, including physical, mental and emotional. Seek to practise acceptance and patience with yourself and others. And be kind to your mother.

– ROBYN NEVIN

DIRECTOR, ACTRESS AND FORMER HEAD OF THE SYDNEY THEATRE COMPANY. SHE IS 75.

No-one cares about you as much as you do.

Stop judging yourself too harshly. If you don’t do things on time, then the world as you know it will not collapse.

Being a full-time working mother in the ’70s and ’80s was really, really tough. I was still carving out my career path in a fairly maledomina­ted environmen­t and I felt guilty about leaving my little girls. Even with a supportive husband, I was often exhausted attempting to be the best mother and the best researcher that I could be.

While we now have lots of role models, they tend to portray themselves as “superwomen” – looking good, having nice houses, exercising, running their work and home lives with supreme confidence. Bullshit. Maternal guilt is really awful and I am now making up for it by being the best granny I can be, but I do think that lowering your standards on how you look, how you entertain and all the other things on which women are sold to concentrat­e on your family, partner and work is the secret to success.

Look after your health and wellbeing as you are the pivotal person in your family and need to be strong, fun, engaged and as happy as you can be. Try to reduce stress with exercise, yoga, meditation or bush-walking. I still swim in the ocean (heavenly and therapeuti­c every time) or do laps in the pool in winter; this is my great relaxation.

– PROFESSOR FIONA STANLEY

AN EPIDEMIOLO­GIST AND ADVOCATE FOR MATERNAL AND CHILDREN’S HEALTH. SHE IS AN AUSTRALIAN LIVING TREASURE AND ONE-TIME AUSTRALIAN OF THE YEAR. SHE IS 71.

NEVER GIVE ANYONE ELSE THE POWER TO DEFINE AND REPRESENT YOU.

Take risks and make mistakes, own your own flaws and limitation­s so people have no power over how you feel about yourself. Don’t think that you have to make every important decision in life before you are 30. I got a PHD when I was 50 and became an influencer and model when I was 63. You can constantly reinvent, redo and evolve. You really reach a place where you do not give a damn what anyone else thinks about who you are or what you do.

– DR LYN SLATER

PROFESSOR AT NEW YORK’S FORDHAM UNIVERSITY, A SPEAKER, WRITER, MODEL AND SOCIALMEDI­A INFLUENCER, WITH NEARLY HALF A MILLION FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM. SHE IS 64.

HAVE FRIENDS OF ALL AGES. – DR PATRICIA EDGAR

TELEVISION PRODUCER, SOCIOLOGIS­T AND AUTHOR. SHE WAS THE FIRST AUSTRALIAN TO HOLD A HIGHER DEGREE IN FILM, FROM STANFORD UNIVERSITY IN THE US, AND IS THE RECIPIENT OF AN AFI LIFETIME ACHIEVEMEN­T AWARD. SHE IS 81.

Keep an open mind, and don’t take yourself too seriously.

From this vantage point, looking back, I can say I’m pleased with my efforts. I didn’t have a plan – most people don’t – but I’ve always tried to be honest and brave, resilient and just to keep going. I have some regrets – I would have been streets ahead if I hadn’t walked out of school when I was 15 in a fit of pique, because my parents wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to do. It took me a long time to work my way back, although eventually I went to university and studied literature, and I’m so glad I did it. It’s been so useful to me.

As women move into their forties, it’s important to remain intellectu­ally active. The brain is a muscle that needs a workout on a regularly basis. Learn the piano, write a play, go for a walk... whatever. Do it.

– PAT ANDERSON

ADVOCATE FOR ABORIGINAL AND TORRES STRAIT ISLANDER AFFAIRS, AN OFFICER OF THE ORDER OF AUSTRALIA AND CHAIR OF AUSTRALIA’S ONLY NATIONAL INSTITUTE FOR INDIGENOUS HEALTH. SHE IS IN HER LATE SIXTIES.

Keep in touch with the way they’re living their lives, learn from them and let them challenge your thinking. Anyone can be unlucky, but most of us have problems and traumas to deal with and it is how we manage them that counts. The one who thinks they can’t is usually right. My father told me to think big, be patient, and my advice is the same. Maintain your determinat­ion, find your allies – they will be there – because we never succeed alone. And say yes to all opportunit­ies even when you’re not sure whether it’s what you want, or whether you’ve done it before. Learn how. Opportunit­ies lead to unexpected places, so when you are starting out, seize them.

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