YOUNG GUNS

Fast-track your way to toned arms.

ELLE (Australia) - - Contents -

THE RE­AL­I­SA­TION WE’RE GET­TING OLD(ER) hits in sur­pris­ing ways. For me, it was notic­ing that I hadn’t lis­tened to any new mu­sic since Tay­lor Swift’s 1989. Also that I was sex­u­ally ac­tive the year some of my col­leagues were born (mean­ing I could lit­er­ally be their mother). And then there was re­al­is­ing that I’d sub­con­sciously re­fused to wear tops or dresses with­out a sleeve for more than a year. Be­cause while the rest of me was fine – I’m com­fort­able with my smile lines and most of my body ap­pears pretty much as it al­ways has (as long as I’m in the right light and squint­ing) – my arms knew ex­actly how old they were. And while a lit­tle tummy can be con­cealed, or a booty cel­e­brated, chunky arms are no-one’s friend. Par­tic­u­larly fash­ion’s.

In the past, there wasn’t a lot you could do about bingo wings, no mat­ter how much you watched your diet and ex­er­cised. That fat is more stub­born than Don­ald Trump in the face of cli­mate change. The sur­gi­cal op­tion, li­po­suc­tion seemed ex­ces­sive and re­quired a lot of down­time. The fact I couldn’t wear spaghetti straps both­ered me, but not that much. It was dur­ing a chance con­ver­sa­tion with Dr Joseph Ajaka from Syd­ney’s Cos­mos Clinic that I started to think I could have vi­able op­tions that weren’t a cardi­gan. “That lit­tle pocket of fat at the back of your arm? We can get rid of that eas­ily,” he com­mented con­fi­dently, af­ter lis­ten­ing to my body woes.

Cos­mos Clinic is a Syd­ney beauty treat­ment mecca, with a long list of celebrity and in­flu­encer clients, thanks to Dr Ajaka and his team’s charis­matic, so­cial me­dia-friendly ap­proach. (Warn­ing: if you’re the kind of per­son who loves Dr Pim­ple Pop­per, it’s way too easy to get lost for hours watch­ing the Cos­mos team work on a Brazil­ian butt lift on In­sta­gram). They also hap­pen to be one of the big­gest users of Vaser Li­po­suc­tion in the coun­try.

A gen­tler form of tra­di­tional lipo, Vaser Li­po­suc­tion utilises ul­tra­sound tech­nol­ogy to loosen and soften fat be­fore re­mov­ing it, greatly min­imis­ing the chances of bruis­ing, dim­pling and ex­ces­sive pain. In­stead of ag­gres­sive tug­ging, the melted fat is re­moved with gen­tle suc­tion. And Vaser dif­fer­en­ti­ates tar­geted fat from other im­por­tant tis­sues, leav­ing nerves, blood ves­sels and con­nec­tive tis­sue un­touched for smooth re­sults and quicker heal­ing. Qui­etly ter­ri­fied but con­vinced by the im­age of my­self in an Al­bus Lu­men sum­mer dress, I signed up. Af­ter so much in­ter­nal tur­moil in the lead up, the day in ques­tion felt al­most anti-cli­mac­tic, more like a den­tist’s ap­point­ment than a sur­gi­cal pro­ce­dure. Per­formed un­der twi­light se­da­tion (an­other pro: lipo usu­ally re­quires gen­eral anaes­the­sia), I have vague mem­o­ries of be­ing mes­merised by watch­ing the drip bags fill up with my own fat (clearly, I’m one of those Dr Pim­ple Pop­per fans) and ram­bling to the sur­gi­cal team about Al­bus Lu­men.

The pro­ce­dure it­self took less than an hour, and af­ter an­other cou­ple in re­cov­ery, I lit­er­ally walked out (al­beit lean­ing on the arms of a friendly nurse) down the road to a nearby ho­tel to wait for my hus­band to fin­ish work and look af­ter me for the night. Re­cov­ery in­volved reg­u­lar lym­phatic drainage mas­sages (not as pleas­ant as they sound) and six weeks in a post-sur­gi­cal gar­ment, which for me was the hard­est part about the whole pro­ce­dure. Soon enough, though, the gar­ment (I burned it af­ter­wards) was re­placed by that Al­bus Lu­men. The cardi­gans are gone. The Tay­lor Swift tracks, though? They’re not go­ing any­where.

Vaser Li­po­suc­tion,

Start­ing at $4,000, cos­mosclinic.com.au

“IN THE PAST, THERE WASN’T A LOT YOU COULD DO ABOUT BINGO WINGS”

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