Steve Parrish

Parrish’s take on all things bike-racing.

Hi everyone, how are we all? I’m currently at this Salon Privé car show at Blenheim Palace, sat at a table with a coffee and my laptop, watching an insane world meander past while I write. I’ve been a judge here for the last seven years, and it really is a portal into how the other half, or other one percent rather, live their lives. Every car here is worth a fortune, it’s bonkers, and right this second some Chinese people are taking photos of my car, or my cock, given that’s the registration number! Speaking of a fortune, that’s what Silverstone spent on their resurface no doubt, and also what they seem to be giving back out for those who went to that wet, pointless Sunday at the old RAF base. I don’t know the full ins and outs of what went on, though I do know a club race there a few weeks back had said there might be an issue when they got wet weather, but it likely wasn’t as bad as hit the GP. I guess if you’re aquaplaning then things are not right. Yes BSB’s wet race there last year was crazy, with about four finishers, but it still drained better then. I think it may be one of those fine surfaces that doesn’t drain well, although I always thought drainage was thought through before things like this were laid down? I am a little concerned about this nanny state we live in, and even now at the Classic TT they were holding off the lightweight races when it was a bit damp. I can understand Superbikes or the seriously fast stuff not being run, but these small bikes should be fine and the only reason it shouldn’t run is because of fog, as the medical helicopter can’t fly… hang on… an unbelievably beautiful lady has just rolled up right in front of us here in an appallingly expensive Bentley. She’s got out and is not only wearing a see-through dress but has started kissing another girl right in front of us! Worse still, my wife is sat right next to me... time to get my head back in the laptop! Anyway, the Classic TT. The TT guys did a great job and it was fab to see John McGuinness back here and winning. I have no idea if he wants to carry on, he said he was in tears when he won and he must have had times in the last 16 months when he wondered if he was ever going to ride competitively again. But he won the Classic Senior TT, absolutely dominated it in fact on his Paton; he rode so well and what a lovely fairy-tale comeback. I was so chuffed to be doing the TT show again, I really missed it in June, and I got sick to death of being asked why I wasn’t doing it and being unable to give an answer. It was the same company that took me to the classic, so maybe I’ll be back at the TT proper next year? We also had Amy Williams (the Olympian) presenting with us, and I thought she was brilliant, plus she likes things that are fast so it was perfect for her. Going back to delayed races and the like, when we did the TT we had no helicopter at all and the races would run regardless of the weather, even in fog – which, let me tell you, is utterly terrifying. If you had a crash you’d just be lying on the side of the road until someone came by, or the race ended – how things change!

Last week I went up to the Donington Classic, and while driving up Mick Grant rang me saying the new regulations for the Goodwood Revival had changed, and our race licences may not be eligible as it’s an international event. I told him I was about to see the organisers anyway so I’d ask, which I did, and was told that only applied to foreign entrants.

So of course I rang Mick back and told him he was right, and that he had to come to Donny to do some laps or he couldn’t race at Goodwood – total bollocks! I told him I would sort him a bike, a George Beale replica Benelli, and he’d have to cancel whatever else he was doing to come and sort it. Sure enough, he turned up Sunday morning with all his kit to do the four laps I’d told him he needed, but the Benelli wouldn’t start (we’d made sure of that…). So I gave him the other bike I'd arranged, a Honda C90! He still didn’t twig and out he went around Donny, which had everyone roaring!

Took him about half an hour to do four laps, and by the time he came back in he’d figured out I’d stitched him up. But I owed him, as he got me disqualified from Snetterton in 1985 in Superstock, which he went on to win, the tw*t! Now we’re all square, but he did say it was the first time he’d ever gone through Craner Curves flat out! Now, time for my judging duties here, though there are no more brown envelopes any more – what’s the world coming to?!