ANNOYING NEIGHBOURS
Jack Wilshere has annoyed his next-doors by erecting a fence. A fence? Is that all? These players upset the locals for far worse reasons
“Do you know what time it is?”
In retirement, Australia’s 1974 World Cup captain Peter Wilson wanted to live in obscurity. With one exception. The tough-as-nails ex-socceroos skipper loved taking his prized motorbike for a spin, much to the annoyance of the locals near Wollongong in New South Wales. Wilson was as uncompromising in his response as he was on the pitch, simply revving his Chopper louder (and later) at night. Wisely, his neighbours left him in peace. Even if they weren’t getting any themselves.
If you build it, they will come and moan
“It’s very loud and very annoying,” complained an Alderley Edge resident in 2011 after work began on ripping down a bungalow to make way for a six-storey mansion for then-manchester City defender Joleon Lescott. “It’s quite exciting for my son, who’s a City fan, but we’re indifferent,” huffed another. Presumably there was room for a £121,000 Mercedes on the driveway.
Camels on the loose!
When Kuwait reserve keeper Adam Marjan’s camels escaped from his front yard while he was on World Cup duty at Spain 82, his neighbours got the hump. After defecating in some local gardens, the hoofed invaders were rounded up, before the council demanded Marjan keep his pets on a tighter leash. Easy for you to say.
All dolled up with nowhere to go
In 2010, then-derby goalkeeper Stephen Bywater – now at Burton Albion – was forced to cover up a bizarre piece of modern art in his garden, featuring a portable toilet, a mattress, a horsebox covered in graffiti and a blow-up doll. One local resident called the fearsome feature “abhorrent”, which seems a reasonable description. Bywater said sorry and later flogged it on ebay. Maybe he’d come to his senses and decided that he thought it was a load of tat, too.
Lord Bendtner is shown the door
“We thought the door was stuck, so we tried to open it and it caused some damage,” explained a (possibly) contrite Nicklas Bendtner following a kerfuffle at his Bushey flat in 2013. After dinner with friends, Bendtner and his posse wanted a midnight swim at the flat’s gym. Not to be denied by a stuck (or locked) door, they kicked it in. The Dane paid damages and vowed to concentrate on “doing what I do best”... missing chances and wearing a sponsor’s green undies, then.
The dog did it
Following his decision to quit football in the early 1990s, former Luton striker Lars Elstrup explored the meaning of life by chanting loudly in his flat with