FOOTBALL NOTEBOOK
Motoball is a simple game: 22 men drive around on motorbikes, and at the end, the Russians always win
MOST ILL-ADVISED SPONSOR 2016: Romania’s football federation suspends three coaches and 14 players at a second division club because of match-fixing allegations, after previously making a decision to ban betting on matches.
2019: Romania’s second division unveil a new logo – ‘Liga 2, the home of betting’ – after agreeing a shiny new sponsorship deal with gambling firm Casa Pariurilor. BEST CROSSOVER SPORT Do you like football? And do you like motorbikes? If so, we have just the sport for you: motoball.
The sport follows largely the rules of football - apart from the fact the ball’s a bit bigger and everyone’s riding motorbikes, except for the goalkeepers.
The European Championships took place recently in Germany, and Russia (in action, right) lifted the title for the fourth year in succession, at a sold-out stadium in Morsch.
The Russian motorbikes must have been on performance-enhancing drugs, or something.
MOST RELENTLESS RECORD-BREAKER Big news: Sebastian Abreu is on the move, yet again. The 42-year-old former Uruguay World Cup striker was already in the Guinness Book of Records after representing a ludicrous 28 different clubs during his long career, and now you can make that 29.
Abreu has swapped Brazilian side Rio Branco for the Montevideo club Boston River. There’s a definite theme developing - he’d previously had two spells at Argentinian giants River Plate.
Loves a river, that lad.
MOST DETERMINED TEAM Life is far from easy for Palestine’s amputee football team – not only are they dealing with disability, they’re also based in the Gaza Strip.
But that didn’t stop them making the arduous journey to the Cote d’azur recently, to take on France’s amputee team in Martigues (below). They were welcomed back to Gaza as heroes: they’ll stop at nothing to play football. BEST NICKNAME Great news: Stoichkov is back in La Liga. No, not that one - newly promoted Real Mallorca’s front line includes Juan Diego Molina, widely known as Stoichkov.
The 25-year-old wears the Bulgarian’s name on his shirt, having been given the nickname by his Stoichkov-obsessed father as a child. No pressure, son.
MOST GALLING OWN GOAL Schalke made light work of pre-season opponents Bottrop, but ex-man City defender Matija Nastasic still managed to mess things up.
The Bundesliga side put 20 goals past their beleaguered opponents, but they were denied a whitewash after Nastasic’s own goal got Bottrop on the scoresheet. “FFS Nastasic!” City fans joked on Twitter, remembering his underwhelming spell in the Premier League, as Schalke had to settle for a disappointingly narrow 20-1 win.
LONGEST RUNNING JOKE When Zlatan Ibrahimovic was asked to pick his best 11 of all time, everyone knew what was going to happen.
Yes, you’ve guessed it: he picked Zlatan in goal, with Zlatan, Zlatan, Zlatan and Zlatan in defence, Zlatan, Zlatan and Zlatan in midfield, then Zlatan, Zlatan and Zlatan as his front three. Zlatan Ibrahimovic: the home of entirely predictable banter.
LEAST PREDICTABLE COLLABORATION Usain Bolt has made his first move into dancehall music, but he had one demand before he proceeded - it had to feature a player from Bolton Wanderers.
Sadly Kevin Nolan wasn’t available, so he asked Jamaican pal Ricardo Gardner, who’d previously released his own (frankly terrible) song Move To Your Goal. This time he featured alongside Ding Dong and Munga Honorable on the Bolt produced project Olympic Rose Riddim.
It’s surely only a matter of time before Donovan Bailey teams up with Henrik Pedersen for his own musical release.
MOST MUSICAL REF It’s not just Usain Bolt who’s dabbling in the music world: Bundesliga referee Deniz Aytekin is at it too.
The 40-year-old is not just a FIFA ref, but an internet entrepreneur and chilled out entertainer. The official for Barcelona 6-1 PSG, he turned up to DJ at the recent Tropical Beach Festival in Landau (500km from the nearest, er, beach).
This gives Mike Dean an idea…