DONCASTER ROVERS
LAST SEASON
LEAGUE ONE 6th FA CUP Fifth Round LEAGUE CUP Second Round TOP SCORER John Marquis (above, 26)
FANFILE JAMES MCMAHON @jamesjammcmahon
The big talking point among the fans is if we have any chance of replicating last season’s unexpected surge to the play-offs, especially with gaffer Grant Mccann leaving for Hull.
The best club social media account is two-time FSF Fanzine of the Year, Popular STAND (@vivarovers). Although the actual fanzine is taking a season off after hitting 100 issues, the socials will be as sardonic as ever.
I won’t be happy unless we beat our ex-manager, Darren Ferguson. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d like us to beat Peterborough even more than I’d like us to beat Rotherham.
Our key player will be John Marquis, for his goals, or James Coppinger, the heartbeat of the side – both inspiringly, given his age and our reliance on him, and depressingly, given his age and our reliance on him.
Our most underrated player is Joe Wright [below], twice a Wales U21 defender. I think he’s a great player. The opposition player I secretly admire is Jamal Lowe at Portsmouth. He plays like a kid kicking a Coke can around, as all the best players do. The best away ground is Roots Hall in Southend: fish and chips by the sea, a few games of Street Fighter II, then off to a proper football ground. Our best celebrity fan is – or was – the late, sort-of-great Paul Daniels. The worst has to be Jeremy Clarkson. The one change I’d make to the club would be to have a bit more class and empathy, instead of singing about the social tragedy that’s taken place at Rotherham in recent decades.
Look out for our new signing Madger Gomes, though this is based on very little other than the fact he’s Spanish. The best thing about the matchday experience at Doncaster is getting a hug from Donny Dog. I swear they wash that thing using unicorn tears. The other recommendation for away fans is to visit Doncaster Museum. It has a huge stuffed pike that died a few hundred years ago when people saw it in the River Don and kicked it to death. There’s a metaphor for the town there. We’ll finish 10th.