ST JOHNSTONE
LAST SEASON
PREMIERSHIP 7th SCOTTISH CUP Fifth Round LEAGUE CUP Quarter-finals TOP SCORER Tony Watt (8)
FANFILE KERR HALL @kerr1884
The big talking point among the fans is the potential return of Stevie May, who scored 27 goals for us in 2013-14. I won’t be happy unless we retain our Premiership status.
Our most underrated player is Scott Tanser. Keep it quiet!
Look out for Kyle Mcclean. He could play a big part this season.
The best away ground is Tynecastle. The best away fans are Celtic’s. Noisy. The player I’d happily drive to another club is Jason Kerr [above, centre], if we got the fee he’s worth! The opposition player I secretly admire is Alfredo Morelos. Destined for very big things if he sorts out his questionable behaviour.
The pantomime villain will be Celtic captain Scott Brown, as always. One of those that you’d love to have in your team but hate to play against. Our best celebrity fans are reporter Eilidh Barbour and broadcaster Stuart Cosgrove. They’re diehard Saintees. The one change I’d make to the club would be to make all the seats blue. Multicoloured ones are an eyesore. Save the date for the opening-day trip to Celtic, since our local rivals Dundee and Dundee United are playing in the Championship now.
The best Saints social media account is @stjohnstone1884 – in the know. The signature local dish is the club’s cracking steak and chorizo pies.
The one recommendation for away fans is to head to the pub to drown your sorrows after you’ve been cuffed. Did you know that we started out as a cricket club, playing football in the winter when the ground was hard. Our key player will be Jason Kerr, who’s just been made club captain at 22. Absolutely cigars it every week. The fans’ opinion of the gaffer is that Tommy Wright [below] became a hero in 2014 by taking us to our first major honour, the Scottish Cup. To me and to many, he can do no wrong. If he left, he should be replaced by midfielder Liam Craig – though he still has a couple of seasons in him yet. We’ll finish 7th or 8th, which would be brilliant. The top six is ambitious.