ENGLAND 1-1 SWITZERLAND

THE GOOD England are hosting a major tournament for the first time since You Know When. For all of the press negativity, fans are excited: Paul Ince recalls to FFT that, “As we left Burnham Beeches Hotel, going towards Wembley Way, there were all of these people hanging out of the windows, flags and cars beeping...” More importantly, this temporary footballing multiculturalism heralds a shift away from isolationism that is soon to be bolstered by Premier League clubs importing the world’s finest players. Football’s Little Englanders have had their day.

THE BAD The entire country settles down with a beverage and small sigh upon realising that the tournament’s opener is on ITV and therefore helmed by Bob Primrose Wilson, a man you’d trust to look after your spare house keys but hardly Captain Party. Worse still, in a toe-curler of a joint interview before the match, pundits Kevin Keegan and Alex Ferguson are apparently best of chums, just weeks after King Kev’s “I would love it if we beat them” ejaculation.

THEY SAID WHAT?! “We seem to be stuck on the ‘Inger-lund, Inger-lund, Inger-lund’ chant. That may be a bit boring, but at least everybody knows the words” – Helen Joslin, Football Supporters’ Association official.

THE MEDIA The Mirror kicks off its crackpot coverage with famed spoon-botherer Uri Geller commanding readers to focus on a picture of him holding the ball from the World Cup final (well, obviously). “I have filled the ball with my positive energy,” he wibbles. “Touch and rub the picture and concentrate for two minutes on England winning. You can even bend the ball towards the goal if you try hard enough.” IN OTHER NEWS... On this day, Coventry revive the Godiva Procession, paying tribute to that time when an earl’s wife decided the best protest against excessive taxation was a naked horse-ride through the streets. It probably didn’t happen but the story did give us the phrase ‘Peeping Tom’, so that’s nice.