FRANCE 3-1 BULGARIA ROMANIA 1-2 SPAIN SCOTLAND 1-0 SWITZERLAND NETHERLANDS 1-4 ENGLAND

STORY OF THE DAY While the host nation’s genuinely shocking victory is the story of the decade (if not longer) for their fans, some other football also happens – starting with Group B.

Bulgaria beat France twice in qualification for USA 94, all but ending the international careers of David Ginola and Gerard Houllier, but now Laurent Blanc and an own goal put Les Bleus in control. Hristo Stoichkov scores, but Bulgaria can’t be bothered levelling and need Romania to hold Spain in Leeds. They do not. Guillermo Amor nets a late winner to send La Roja into the quarters, before living up to his surname by flying home for the birth of his child.

THE GOOD Curio ahoy! During the first half at St James’ Park, Dermot Gallagher (below, right) ruptures his Achilles. On jogs the fourth official, an unknown ginger fella called Paul Durkin; by France 98 he’s England’s top referee. So it goes. THE BAD It’s agony once again for Scotland. As in qualification, they have been defensively resolute – only Germany and Portugal leaked fewer goals in the group stage – but lacking in firepower. At Villa Park, Ally Mccoist nets their first goal of the tournament only after missing with three shots from within six yards, two of them saved superbly by Marco Pascolo. Even so, the manner of Scotland’s exit is cruel. The hollowest of 1-0 wins sends them home on the tiebreaker of goals (not) scored, which means they have fallen at the first hurdle nine times in a row; it’ll happen once more at France 98, before two grim decades of much worse still. THEY SAID WHAT?! “When Patrick Kluivert scored, it was the same feeling as when Mel Gibson got hung, drawn and quartered at the end of Braveheart”– Gamesmaster host, and proud Scot, Dominik Diamond.

THE MEDIA “Give ’em Edam good thrashing!” – pity Dennis Bergkamp, rising on matchday to find the Mirror have his face on some cheese. IN OTHER NEWS... The Unabomber, a maths whiz-turned-technoluddite and terrorist in the United States, is indicted on 10 criminal counts.