Saido Berahino: my side A botched Spurs switch changed his career. Now he’s opening up
In the same week that Tottenham signed Son Heung- min, Saido Berahino’s move from West Bromwich Albion to White Hart Lane acrimoniously broke down. The Burundi forward tells FFT why that sliding doors moment in 2015 transformed his career – and how the loss of his father has shaped his life
was only 10 years old when I got on a plane to England from Burundi, and was scared as hell. I’d never left Burundi before, or even the area that I lived in. My mum moved to England when I was six or seven. I stayed with my friend, then she did everything she could for me to join her. But when I arrived in England, we couldn’t find her – I had to go to a care home. When they found her, I had to do blood tests to prove she was my mum. Finally, I met her again. We were at a police station and it was so emotional – she literally got on her knees and crawled to me, then we cried. Being reunited with her was the greatest feeling.
I grew up in Burundi during a civil war. I lived in Bujumbura – then the capital – near Lake Tanganyika. A lot of the time, I was only exposed to what I knew. Adults deflected the truth and didn’t want to frighten us. The days were hot and sunny, and whenever I had the chance, I’d kick a ball around with a bunch of kids. The ball was a load of plastic bags wrapped together with a piece of string.
But there’d be scary days when there was a curfew, and you weren’t allowed to go to school or leave home. After a while, when things had calmed down, you’d go onto the street and see bullet shells and holes everywhere, with tanks roaming around and soldiers on foot. As a kid, you don’t understand what’s going on. The worst thing was the news, when you really got to see how upside- down the country was.
I was four when my dad passed away, but I’ve never asked questions or tried to find out details of what happened. I’m 27 now, and there’s no point going back. I don’t have many memories of him, but my mum says I’m exactly like him. It wasn’t until I was 21 or 22 that I started appreciating everything I went through as a child.
When I landed in England in 2003, it was super cold and I couldn’t speak the language. It wasn’t easy. At school in Birmingham, I’d sit in the back of a class or in a corridor with a tutor, trying to learn English. Whenever people spoke to me and I didn’t understand, the only thing I knew how to do was smile – I soon learned that it takes you to a lot of places! You get accepted when you’re friendly.
People began to notice me more when I started playing football on the playground. I wasn’t the kid who couldn’t speak English any more – I was the footballer that other kids always wanted on their team. I’d only been in the country six months when I got picked up by a Sunday League team – the first time I’d ever played an 11- a- side game – then got invited to a six- week trial at West Brom. I didn’t actually know who they were at the time, and that they were in the Premier League. But I’ll never forget the moment I signed – me and my mum went to the stadium, where I met first- team captain Darren Moore. My mum was so proud of me. A few years later, when I was called up to represent England Under- 16s in the Victory Shield, it was very emotional. I was a refugee who’d been given a second life in England, and it made me feel like I belonged somewhere.
At the start of my professional career I spent time at Northampton [ left], Brentford and Peterborough on loan, then suffered a knee injury which kept me out for several months. But that injury changed my life. I began going to the gym and taking football seriously, rather than just relying on my talent. When I returned for pre- season with West Brom in 2013, they couldn’t believe how fit and sharp I was. The boss, Steve Clarke, called me over and said, ‘ Keep your head down and you’ll get a chance’. I had a perfect understanding with him – I can’t thank him enough for what he did for me.
My first start was unbelievable – I scored a hat- trick before half- time in the League Cup against Newport. Mum had come to watch me, and I thought, ‘ I’ve got to entertain her!’ A month later, I scored in the next round of the League Cup against Arsenal, then hit the winner against Manchester United at Old Trafford in the Premier League [ right]. I was a United fan as a kid in Burundi, where everyone would pretend to be Dwight Yorke or Andy Cole. After the game, Rio Ferdinand said to me, ‘ Keep doing what you’re doing – you’re an unbelievable talent’. I’ve still got his shirt from that game.
It was one of the best periods of my life. All of a sudden, West Brom fans loved me and people were sending nice messages, telling me how inspirational my story was. It was humbling.
I featured for England U21s alongside Harry Kane, Raheem Sterling, Jack Butland, Wilfried Zaha, Jesse Lingard – so many great names. We went unbeaten for two years and killed teams – I was the the leading goalscorer in qualifying for the 2015 Euros, with 10 goals in 10 games. Gareth Southgate had so much belief in me, and I won the Under- 21s Player of the Year award.
At the start of my second season in West Brom’s first team, I scored seven goals in nine Premier League games under new manager Alan Irvine. You feel that you’re untouchable; that you can achieve whatever you want. Roy Hodgson even called me into England’s senior squad –
he knew me from his time at West Brom, and told me my opportunity would come. It was a great experience I’ll never forget, training with players like Wayne Rooney. But I was so disappointed not to come on against either Slovenia or Scotland – especially during the drive home, knowing my mum would ask, ‘ Why did you not get on? What have you done?’ I hoped I’d get more chances to play for England, and go to big tournaments with them, but it wasn’t meant to be.
Tony Pulis was appointed West Brom manager halfway through the 2014- 15 season, then I scored four goals at home to Gateshead in the FA Cup – although the media made a huge thing out of the fact I didn’t celebrate the goals. There were rumours about a transfer and people thought I wanted to leave, but I had no idea which teams wanted me, and I wasn’t too bothered because I was playing in the Premier League every week and scoring goals for West Brom. We beat Gateshead 7- 0, but they were a non- league club and a few of our other scorers didn’t celebrate much that day.
I had a good understanding with Pulis – he knew exactly when to put his arm around a player. He was a bit old school and always had you on your toes – you’d be sitting at a table in the canteen and he’d say, ‘ Get up, that’s my seat!’ just to make you feel like he’s the boss. But he loved a cup of tea, and I got to make several of those for him.
I scored 20 goals in all competitions and was named Players’ Player of the Year that season. Then, in August 2015, Tottenham made a bid for me. I’d been criticised for an interview where I said I’d like to move on to bigger things in the future – but whatever profession you’re in, if somebody offers you a promotion, you’d take it. I wanted to improve and play with top- quality players, fighting for titles like the Champions League – and I meant that with no disrespect to West Brom. I wanted to push myself to the highest level I could. I was disappointed with the way it was documented – that I didn’t want to be part of West Brom’s team any more. The players understood my situation.
When Spurs come in for you, you think the deal will happen. Under Mauricio Pochettino, with the players they had, it was the beginning of the new Tottenham. Being part of that would have been fantastic – it would have taken me to another level.
But West Brom kept rejecting their offers, then when my agent told me the move was off, I was upset. I had so much anger towards one guy, West Brom owner Jeremy Peace. I felt like a dark cloud had come over my head. I’d been left in limbo. West Brom wanted the price they valued me at, and Tottenham didn’t think I was worth it. When you’re young, you don’t understand the business and how everything works. I didn’t take it well – I took it personally, then got myself involved in all sorts of bad things, tweeting that I’d never play for Peace again.
I do regret that. As soon as I sent the tweet, it was all over Sky Sports News. My mum came into my room saying, ‘ What are you doing? Get off that now! You don’t handle yourself in that manner, this is not you’. She was cross. I’ve never publicly apologised for my behaviour towards Jeremy Peace, but I’d like to do it now. He deserves that – we’ve never spoken since that period, but until then we’d had a good relationship. He’d given me a new contract at West Brom and done great things for my family. He changed my life.
I felt like Spurs could have done more to make the deal go through. I don’t know if they were choosing between me and Son Heung- min, or if they planned to sign both of us, because I didn’t speak to anyone at Spurs. I wasn’t really the same after that. I had internet battles with fans and didn’t enjoy going into work at times. I just felt very alone – my mind was so unclear.
“WHEN SPURS COME IN FOR YOU, YOU THINK IT WILL HAPPEN. I WASN’T THE SAME AFTER. MY MIND WAS UNCLEAR”
I scored the winner away at Aston Villa and Pulis still had faith in me, but later that season I missed two penalties at home to Watford and we lost 1- 0, which was difficult to deal with. I was getting all sorts of threats from fans.
The start of the 2016- 17 season was one of the darkest moments of my career. It was depressing. I wasn’t fit enough, I didn’t play much, and then I received an eight- match suspension from football for failing a drugs test, after my drink was spiked at a nightclub. To this day I play that night back in my head, and still don’t know what happened. The CCTV showed there was a group of lads near my table, but you couldn’t physically see anything being put in a drink.
That period was horrible – I didn’t have the confidence to leave the house at times. I didn’t know where I stood in life any more, let alone football. You’re on a rollercoaster ride, and I was now coming down at a really fast pace.
In January, Stoke paid a lot of money [£ 12 million] for me, seeing as I only had six months left on my contract. I hoped going there would give me a boost, but it didn’t work out. The club treated me very well, but some personal stuff overshadowed things – that destruct button. Being in the newspapers made life hard for those around me.
The press built me up, then brought me down. You saw how Sterling was targeted, and it was similar with Zaha and Anthony Martial. People started following me, writing false stories. I had issues in my personal life and two guys with cameras were parked outside my house for five days, desperate for a story. I eventually ordered a Domino’s and asked the delivery man to give them the pizza. It did the trick and they left.
There was even a silly story that I’d turned up on the wrong day for a game. At the time I think we had to wear our matchday tracksuits for training, so Kurt Zouma and Eric Maxim Choupo- Moting thought it would be funny to put a picture of me in my tracksuit on social media, joking that the game was actually 24 hours later. I couldn’t believe the story that came out of it. As if I’d arrive for a game on the wrong day… how could I do that, with all the preparation we do beforehand? It just showed that whenever it was anything linked to me, the media were itching to write something.
During that period, though, I went two years without scoring and Stoke got relegated. I didn’t know what was happening –
I was trying everything in training, staying behind for an hour doing extra work, but I just wasn’t getting chances in games. I missed a penalty against Southampton – I couldn’t score.
In the Championship, Gary Rowett came in as manager and was great with me, as was his coach Kevin Phillips, who I used to love watching at West Brom as a young player. When I scored against Huddersfield to break my duck, it felt amazing – it was one of those goals that hit my head and went in. The other lads enjoyed the moment with me – finally I couldn’t be laughed at any more, because for two years everyone could say whatever they wanted about me.
I found some form, and played for Burundi as well. They’d been chasing me since I was 17, and going back there to play for them was one of the proudest moments
of my career. I hadn’t been back since I left as a child, but the country took me in. I met the president and then scored on my debut against Pierre- Emerick Aubameyang’s Gabon in a 2019 Africa Cup of Nations qualifier. That gave us belief that we could compete with the big boys.
A few months later, we reached the tournament for the first time in our history. I’ll never forget that day. It took us three hours to get from the hotel to the stadium in Bujumbura – it usually took 20 minutes, but there were so many people around to greet us. Afterwards, the whole country celebrated for a couple of days.
The players asked me to be their captain, which I’m incredibly proud of. Burundi didn’t really have a sponsor, so I approached Nike and paid for 30 home and away kits out of my own pocket, earning the respect of my team- mates. We looked the part. One day, I’d love to launch an academy in Burundi, invite scouts and open doors for kids. There are players in our squad with more talent than me, but they never get an opportunity to shine in Europe.
Back at Stoke, it was a shame when Rowett got sacked, then I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time on a night out in London. I’d gone for a meal with my girlfriend and niece, and on my way home these guys shouted, ‘ Berahino, you think you’re in Birmingham now? What are you doing here?’ One of them pulled up their top and I could see a shiny thing. He had a knife and another had a gun, so I legged it. My girlfriend got in the car and tried to lock the door, but they broke in and robbed her purse, then took my watch, chains and bracelet. I had cuts on my hands from the knife, and on my hip from dropping on the floor and getting kicked. It was on camera – you could see everything.
But instead of focusing on finding the guys who’d robbed me, I was punished for drink- driving – I’d driven from the place I got robbed, 30 seconds down the road, then parked up in panic thinking, ‘ What’s just gone on?’ I lost my job over that, because after I was found guilty my contract at Stoke was terminated.
When I left, my former team- mate Glen Johnson went on the radio and criticised my attitude at Stoke, which really hurt. I sat next to him in the dressing room and not once did he say, ‘ Saido, you need to get your act together’. He told the radio rather than me. What he said was unfair, and I think it put clubs off signing me. Managers were saying, ‘ We’ve heard not to touch him, that he’s bad blood’.
I decided to move to Belgium that summer, and in nearly two years since, I haven’t had one issue with a manager or player. It was a fresh start – a more peaceful life away from England, away from the tabloids and the paparazzi. I joined Zulte Waregem and can’t thank the gaffer, Francky Dury, enough – he did everything to make me feel welcome, talking to me every day about tactics, about life. He’s made me think that I’d like to become a coach once I stop playing. After everything I’ve experienced in my career, I have something to give and share with young players. There should be a system in place where they can be mentored by a former player – I missed that as a youngster. The senior lads at West Brom were brilliant with me, but they didn’t know what I was going through off the field.
I didn’t have the right advice with the way I approached everything. So many things wouldn’t have happened if my dad had been there – I think about it every day. My mum has looked me in the eye and said, ‘ If he was here, there’s no way you’d have done half the things you’ve done’. But that’s the card I was dealt from a young age.
Last year I spoke to two Championship managers who were keen on me, but financially it wasn’t possible due to the coronavirus situation. I joined Charleroi on loan in October, putting me up there fighting for the Belgian title. I want to finish this season as well as possible, then I’m out of contract.
“I KNOW IT’LL BE HARD, BUT I STILL HOPE I CAN FINISH MY CAREER IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE – I’M WISER NOW”
I’d like to return to England. I’m meant to be in my prime years now, and I have a point to prove. I’m not the person that people think I am. I’ve met the likes of Ian Wright and Thierry Henry, and they said, ‘ Why have the press made you out as this bad boy? We can see in your eyes that you’re not this crazy guy’.
I know it’s not realistic at the moment because they’re in the Premier League, but I dream of going back to The Hawthorns. West Brom will be my team forever – my mate Romaine Sawyers is there, and I watch every game. The way the fans took to me and chanted my name was unbelievable, and the way it ended was disappointing. I have regrets.
I still hope that I can finish my career in the Premier League, even if I know it’s going to be difficult. I’d do it better than before – I’m wiser now. I’ve learned to appreciate what I’ve been through. In my Twitter bio, there’s a quote: ‘ For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?’ I was doing a Bible study when I found that sentence, and it hit home.
Everyone in the world is chasing for better and better – we’re willing to sacrifice time, health, friendships, relationships; we’re willing to risk it all to get that joy. In football, I’ve fought for things and I’ve sacrificed things, but I was forgetting my own well- being.
After everything I’ve had to face, that quote from the Bible told me to appreciate what I’ve done, because at times I didn’t. I was forgetting about my childhood. I came from nothing, from Burundi. It’s a one in a trillion chance to play in the Premier League from there. But I did it.