Suggs: I megged Mark Hughes
The Madness frontman on nutmegging Mark Hughes – and witnessing Brian Clough sobbing to Frank Sinatra
What was the first game you ever saw live?
I think it was Fulham against Aston Villa when I was about five or six. My clearest memories of it are the smell of hot dogs and cigars, but also the sound of those huge wooden rattles. The atmosphere was great and so noisy. But the second game I went to was Chelsea against West Ham, which wasn’t nice – that was a very different atmosphere altogether. I was about 10, I went with my mate’s dad and he’d managed to get seats in the new East Stand, which was really posh. I remember looking over at The Shed, where there were Chelsea and West Ham fans, watching huge waves of people going backwards and forwards, like the murmuration of starlings. A beautiful thing to behold from a distance, but not when you’re amongst it, seeing policemen’s hats going up in the air. I went to Park Walk school, which was just off the King’s Road, and you were Fulham or Chelsea. They had the Boat Race near Putney Bridge and I found an Oxford rosette, peeled off the Oxford bit and wrote Chelsea on it, because it had the same colours. That’s what made my mind up. That side from 1967 to ’ 71 was a romantic thing to be involved in.
Who was your childhood hero, and did you ever meet them?
There were two. Peter Osgood [ below], who I met briefly at a charity function. But Alan Hudson was my real hero and I was lucky enough to meet him a few times. He was a really good bloke but had a very hard time, like all the players from that generation. They didn’t have the sort of money they do now. Then he ended up getting run over in some rather ghastly way.
How has watching football changed for you since you were a kid?
I don’t care about it as much, unless someone else decides to have a go. It’s just one of those things – I can hate Chelsea, but no one else can. The atmosphere, stood up, was a very different experience to the modern version. You don’t want to sound like a grumpy old man, and I’m sure it’s a lot better that you don’t get wee all running down the stands, you can get something to eat and you can take the kids, but I do miss it. I remember my mate saying, “When you used to go to the football, you used to wake up scared and go home scared.”
It was a rite of passage and you didn’t know if the other team’s fans would try to take The Shed.
What was your finest moment as a player?
I had a few, but now you come to mention it, it was nutmegging Mark Hughes in the video for Blue Day, the Chelsea song I wrote in 1997. It wasn’t orchestrated, it was completely accidental. Believe me, I couldn’t repeat that – he wasn’t going to let me!
What’s your favourite goal you’ve ever seen?
Definitely the one where Gianfranco Zola skipped across the near post and backheeled it, against Norwich in the FA Cup in 2002 [ below]. He was one of my favourite players – I used to have a Sardinian barber who told me, “You need no floodlights when Zola comes on – you’ve got all the light with Zola.”
Who from Chelsea’s past would you bring back for the current side?
I would like to give a big shout out to Paul Canoville, who hasn’t been well. I saw him up at Sheffield Wednesday and we were 3- 0 down, but he scored twice and the game finished 4- 4. But that whole 1970s team – Houseman, Hutchinson, Harris, Hudson, Hollins, all the Hs – was such a great side.
Where’s the best place you’ve ever watched a game?
Possibly Arsenal, when Chelsea were away and I couldn’t afford to go, so we went to watch Arsenal play at Highbury instead. We were in the North Bank and my mate suddenly decided to start singing “Chelsea!” at the top of his voice. Next thing I know, I’ve been frogmarched by a policeman, had my boots taken off, and we’ve been thrown in this pen, which is basically just a glorified cage, with a load of Wolves fans. They were like, “Are you Arsenal?” We said, “No, we’re not actually…”
What’s your favourite football book?
Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius
of Dutch Football by David Winner. It’s about the philosophy of how they got good, and it makes parallels between abstract art and football.
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a football match?
An old Radio 1 DJ, Diddy Hamilton, was really giving it some in a testimonial match, and then his shorts came off –
I mean properly off! He didn’t have the biggest willy in the world, which was pretty obvious to the crowd.
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve seen a manager or player?
I went to see Frank Sinatra perform at the Royal Albert Hall, and sat in front of me was Brian Clough. My Way starts up and Cloughie gets a handkerchief out. He was crying his eyes out. He certainly did it his way, didn’t he? It was a lovely moment to behold.
What’s your most cherished piece of football memorabilia?
There’s a Chelsea scarf that my granny knitted which I’ve still got. It’s covered in holes now and it’s all wonky, but it’s lovely. I’ve got a signed Peter Osgood shirt that somebody gave me as well.
Who’s your favourite current player?
I’m very keen on Mason Mount, and I love Tammy Abraham [ both pictured above] and Callum Hudson- Odoi, too. I loved the season with Frank Lampard and the young players.
Which player do you admire, who has never played for your club?
Stanley Bowles. I loved all the stories about him – that he was in the bookies in his kit just before the game started and had a bet. The story went that during one game, the other team got a corner, he came back to defend it and he headed it out so the opposition got another corner, because he could hear a race on a radio behind the goal.
If you could drop yourself into your all- time five- a- side team, who would you be playing alongside?
Peter Bonetti in goal, Ron Harris on the right, Graeme Le Saux on the left and the last one has got to be Zola.