Klopp lookalike on the rampage

DUBLIN WAS DUE TO HOST THIS GAME, BUT WHAT FOLLOWS IS WEMBLEY’S GREATEST ATMOSPHERE

Tuesday June 29

England 2- 0 Germany

STORY OF THE MATCH

In the lead- up, Ed Sheeran is invited to sing for the squad – OK, they didn’t play brilliantly in the group stage, but it seems a harsh punishment. Sheeran also pitches up in the Royal Box for the game alongside England’s finest: Prince William, David Beckham, David Seaman and, er, Claude Makelele.

Three days after the 25th anniversary of the Three Lions’ infamous Euro 96 defeat to Germany, Southgate gets his revenge – switching to a back three, then seeing Sterling get on the end of a low cross in the way Gazza couldn’t quite do in 1996.

Sterling’s life flashes before his eyes minutes later as his misplaced pass allows Thomas Muller to race clear at the other end – the forward netted twice against England at the 2010 World Cup, and cheekily winked at the camera during the national anthem this time, but he’s never scored at the Euros and is ready to show everyone exactly why. Videos of fans reacting to his miss at a German fan park go viral, such is the agony and disbelief. What’s the German for schadenfreude?

Minutes later, Kane breaks his own seven- match Euros duck, turning in a cracking cross from super sub turned floppy- haired messiah, Grealish.

In the 61- year history of the Euros, it’s the first time England have ever won a knockout tie within 90 minutes – and it means that all four teams from Group F, the self- styled Group of Death, have now… well, died.

Defeat marks the end of Joachim Low’s 15- year reign as Germany boss – but not before cameras show him appearing to pick his nose and eat the contents for one last time. Farewell, Jogi: it’s been... disgusting, at times.

THE GOOD

Dublin was due to host this game, before Ireland were forced to pull out and the FA opportunistically swooped. What follows is an atmosphere beyond anything the new Wembley has ever seen before, despite it only being half full. It’s hairs on the back of the neck stuff – and England’s players are clearly inspired by it.

THE BAD

Cheers greet the big screen showing a crying German kid close to full- time. Fans raise more than £ 30,000 as an apology, then donate it to UNICEF.

THE WEIRD

The Matt Hancock curse: after he was appointed UK health secretary in 2018, the Three Lions lost to Croatia two days later. England hadn’t been at their best

in the group stage of this tournament, but then Hancock resigns over that whole ‘ breaking social distancing rules while kissing another man’s wife’ thing, and they deliver one of their greatest results for decades. Very mysterious.

TV WATCH

“Still working from home, then?” Gary Lineker asks, introducing this 5pm kick- off – a nod to Des Lynam’s eternal

“shouldn’t you be at work?” line before England vs Tunisia at France 98.

THEY SAID WHAT?

ITV reporter Jonathan Swain says he saw Jurgen Klopp “on the shoulders of some England supporters, drinking a can of beer”, mistaking a lookalike for the actual Klopp. That part about being on shoulders drinking a can of beer? Probably a bit of a clue…