VIEW FROM THE STANDS

Last season was a blast. Given that our only real targets were to avoid relegation and annoy people who needed annoying if possible, I think we more than achieved those two. The big talking point among the fans is other clubs’ big talking point, about whether they can somehow poach Bielsa. It’s marginally less likely than me becoming the Pope. This season will be different to last because Fantasy Premier League have now switched Stuart Dallas from defence into midfield. Those who know, know.

I won’t be happy unless we force more pundits to eat delicious crow. Last term we made a mockery of ‘ Bielsa burnout’ by topping the form table near the end of the season. Our most underrated player is

Jack Harrison. Ridiculous work- rate, arguably the best first touch in the league and the thighs of a Homeric Titan. He’s finally signed for £ 11m, which is the sort of bargain any true Yorkshireman can get behind. The opposition player I secretly

admire is former loanee Ben White. Brighton should give a percentage

of his fee to a charitable cause of Bielsa’s choosing. The pantomime villain will be

Daniel Farke: very obviously Matt Berry playing a German football manager. It’s unfathomable to me that no one’s caught on yet.

Our key player will be Kalvin Phillips, and after the Euros I’m sure everyone can see why. Has his gran’s name tattooed on his arm, but he’ll happily put you over an advertising hoarding if need be.

We’ll finish 8th. No low- balling it this time around.