WILL THE TOON ARMY EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN?

Can 95 per cent of Newcastle fans ever be wrong? Can Mike Ashley ever be right?

If the final weeks of the campaign hinted that the answer to each question comes in the affirmative, it doesn’t mean they can be reconciled. There can be lulls in the Tyneside civil war, but this is the kind of conflict where no one ever signs a peace treaty.

Rewind a few months and, after March’s dire 3- 0 loss against Brighton suggested the Magpies were sleepwalking towards relegation, 19 of every 20 supporters polled thought Steve Bruce should be sacked. One banner called him a coward – echoing words Matt Ritchie said in a training ground row – and another read, “You are not one of us – leave now.” Ashley can delight in ignoring popular opinion and Bruce’s Newcastle finished the season with a flourish, 17 points from nine matches meaning they ended as close to Tottenham as to Fulham.

Yet neither side has reconciled. Ashley doesn’t like paying off managers. The absence of fans spared Bruce a hostile reception; perhaps his job would have become untenable with them. A lightning rod for dissatisfaction with the owner, Bruce appears to be one slump away from more calls for his head. The Magpies’ propensity for groundhog seasons makes it likely they will have a dreadful spell at some point.

Part of the case against Bruce is that there can be some terrible football. Newcastle were responsible for some of the worst displays any Premier League club produced last season; the sort of spineless and insipid surrenders they offered up against Brighton, Brentford ( in the League Cup) and Sheffield United symbolised the soullessness of the Ashley regime.

The Sports Direct tycoon has been trying to sell for much of his 14- year reign, but only on his terms. The breakdown of a £ 300 million Saudi- led takeover last year means the one thing that unites owner and supporters is unhappiness with the Premier League.

Ashley’s on- field ambitions don’t extend much beyond staying in it. Fans’ wishes for more – top- half finishes, better football, cup runs, squad investment – often go unfulfilled. The signing who transformed last season was Joe Willock, with his Shearer- esque burst of seven goals in as many appearances, but he was borrowed. Will that deal be made permanent?

The constants – Ashley, Bruce and the fans – are stuck with each other in a dysfunctional relationship. Happiness, then? Still very much on hold...