Best & Worst: Bolton Wanderers

Writer and long- time Trotter Gary Parkinson regales tales of Jay- Jay, John Mcginlay and wine bar bouffants

XI

BEST: Jussi Jaaskelainen, Gary Cahill, Gudni Bergsson, Bruno N’gotty, Ricardo Gardner, Fernando Hierro, Kevin Nolan, Jay- Jay Okocha [ right], Youri Djorkaeff, Nicolas Anelka, El Hadji Diouf.

WORST: Ben Amos, Toto Nsiala, Gerald Cid, Jonathan Grounds, Dean Moxey, Mario Espartero, John Gregory, Liam Trotter, Roger Walker, Robert Fleck, Nigel Jemson.

PLAYER

B: Okocha’s brilliance and infectious joy belies the bitter losers’ idea of Sam Allardyce’s side as dour long- ballers.

W: Many have drowned through lack of ability but worse was the half- arsed former top- flighter John Gregory ( yes, later a manager), who did nothing for a struggling team but stand, point and be suntanned.

MOMENT

B: Anfield, 1993: David Lee toasts Mike Marsh and crosses for John Mcginlay to put our third- tier side 1- 0 up right in front of us. The start of a magic ride.

W: Watching court action online to see if our club would survive the day.

GAME

B: The 1995 First Division Play- off Final against Reading [ above]. From 2- 0 and a penalty down to a four- striker attack clawing out a 4- 3 win to reach the top flight after 15 years’ absence.

W: The following season, being beaten 6- 0 at home by a local rival with a crop of kids. I forget their name.

SEASON

B: 1996- 97: style, guile, 100 goals and 98 points – second- tier champions at a romp.

W: Second- tier relegation in 2018- 19 amid financial ruination and existential fear. From New Year we lost 17 of 22 matches – and defaulted on a 23rd.

SIGNING

B: Kevin Davies [ right] on a freebie. A mate of mine described him as a washed- up burger boy. He ate his words.

W: There could be no better symbol of how we threw money at chasing a Premier return than re- signing Zat Knight on ludicrous wages, curiously against no competition whatsoever.

NICKNAME

B: The Lion of Vienna: the immortal Nat Lofthouse, who represented Wanderers as a fan, player, captain, trainer, scout, coach, manager, president and legend. W: Eidur Gudjohnsen’s calmness and nationality condemned him to a life of being called ‘ The Iceman’; his compatriot Gudni Bergsson is still known to many as ‘ Gundi’.

CHANT

B: I’ve spent decades singing, “Who’s that coming up the hill?”, but its defiant central lyrics – “They all laugh at us, they all mock at us, they all say our days are numbered” – have never been as heartfelt.

W: “Your town’s a s** thole, I wanna go home.” I don’t – I’m watching a game – and with respect, Bolton’s hardly Bali.

GOAL

B: Either of two from late 2010: Johan Elmander’s snake- hipped humiliation of the entire Wolves defence, or the Blackpool- bamboozling eight- man move finished by Mark Davies’ leveller.

W: Jody Morris for Chelsea in May 1998 that confirmed relegation. Even Blues fans, knowing a draw would relegate Everton, were willing us to equalise.

MANAGER

B: Perhaps ungrateful but Big Sam is edged out by Bruce Rioch, whose reign was so short, pure and unforgettable.

W: Dougie Freedman, who wanted to “control the game without possession”, was even worse than the professional misanthrope Gary Megson.

HAIRCUT

B: The curly frightwig of Ivan Campo, whose name is still sung every week.

W: Dave Sutton’s blond bouffant was very mid- 80s wine- bar – but with its owner injured, it was bouncing on the away end celebrating Robbie Savage’s ( nope, not him) promotion goal.

HARD MAN

B: Kevin Davies would survive a nuclear winter, and I’d happily live under his new world order.

W: Kostas Konstantinidis celebrated Duncan Ferguson’s red card for an off- the- ball elbow on him by promptly picking up two yellows in a minute to level the sides up.