VIEW FROM THE STANDS

Last season was a realworld re- enactment of ‘ The Triumph of Death’ by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. Google it.

This season will be different because Marcelo Bielsa, our inspirational ex- manager, has tragically departed the club after four years and we are all now his widows.

The big talking point is whether a side that barely escaped relegation should allow their best players to walk away on the cheap, as a favour to teams with the wealth of nation states behind them.

The fans’ opinion of the gaffer is clouded by sorrow. No offence to Jesse Marsch, because he does seem like a decent sort, but anyone succeeding Bielsa must feel like a performing dog going on after Sinatra.

If he left, he should be replaced by a young clone of Bielsa, who we’ve created from DNA samples collected from the bucket he used to perch on.

Our key player will be desperately unlucky striker Patrick Bamford. Fortunately for us, he’s too injured to sell this summer. I hope.

Our most underrated player was probably midfield linchpin and loveable tyke Kalvin Phillips, though Pep Guardiola is clearly a fan.

I’m least looking forward to playing Nottingham Forest, because they always beat us and their manager is truly frightening to behold.

The pantomime villain will be funtime Frankie Lamps, who is somehow in gainful employment again and will presumably continue to be a complaining, entitled brat. The one change I’d make would be to erect a 100fttall statue of Bielsa outside Elland Road, standing astride the ground like the Colossus of Rhodes.

We’ll finish 16th.