JAMES MCMAHON
@ jamesjammcmahon
Last season was our worst since 1997- 98, which is unfortunate, seeing as said campaign is often spoken of as the worst season endured by any professional football club ever. There were moments last term – the 4- 0 loss away at Cheltenham, for one – where I hoped the club would fold with the ground demolished and salt scattered where it once stood. The big talking point is the question of whether relegation was the end result of poor luck, bad recruitment and managerial instability, or – gulp – the beginning of a terminal malaise? This season will be different because we have pivotal players returning from injury and a full summer of preparation denied to the previous two managers. Fans think our ground is fine. It’s just fine. We left Belle Vue 15 years ago and I still think about it almost every day. Look out for centre- back Ollie Younger [ below]. He’s only 22 yet he conducts himself like a sentient oak tree. The active player I’d love to have back is Alfie May. In the words of ’ 80s glam metal types Cinderella, You Don’t Know What You Got ( Till It’s Gone). Our key player will be Tommy Rowe. We’re delighted he has chosen to stay. The thing my club really gets right is canonising the great ( now retired, not dead) Jamie Coppinger – all deserved. The one change I’d make would be our mascot, Donny Dog. I irrationally hate him. I can’t look at him without feeling revulsion, and I can’t work out what it is about him that makes me so angry and, ultimately, sad inside.
The fans’ opinion of the gaffer is that he [ Gary Mcsheffrey] is an uninspired, lazy appointment who has done little to prove he deserves the job. We don’t know who he is or what he stands for. He’s as anonymous a manager as we have had in my lifetime. If he left, he should be replaced by
Yungblud. Well, he is from Doncaster.
Fans think our owner is unambitious. I’m content that we’re solvent and self- sustaining, but then we once had an owner who tried to burn down our main stand, so ‘ content’ is a low bar.
We’ll finish somewhere? I feel more confident in extraterrestrial life existing than in my ability to predict this.
FFT VERDICT
11TH
Many clubs want an overhaul after relegation, but that isn’t an option for Donny, who have much of their 2021- 22 squad under contract. It’ll be a challenging first full season in management for Mcsheffrey, 39, though snaffling Luke Molyneux for free is an inspired bit of business.