By Rowena Grant-frost -

If you’ve never worked in an office, just imagine eight hours of lurching between two feelings: unstimulated and overwhelmed. Now, imagine trying to put on a jumper that doesn’t have a hole for your head. That is basically what it’s like all day, every day, 250 days a year, for the rest of your life.

That is why, when you work in an office, every public holiday is the public holiday you really need. The days are golden. The air smells sweet. For the 14 hours you’re conscious and breathing, the world feels spacious. Life, for a brief moment, feels like a big, warm bath, and all you have to do is drift into the fuzzy, aimless distance.

My deep enchantment with all things public holiday can sometimes make me feel bad.

I feel bad about looking forward to Australia Day. (Can we please just change the date and get on with it?) I feel bad I can never remember the date of Anzac Day. (I am very sorry, but I really don’t know if it’s the 25th or 26th.) I feel bad on Christmas Day; I feel worse on Boxing Day. I feel like I’ve given you enough examples, so I’ll stop. You get it. Work is terrible and public holidays are nice, but public holidays can also be bad. I think we can agree I myself deserve a parade/public holiday for the high quality of this observation.

Because I have such a conflicted relationship with our current batch of public holidays, I’m not exactly sure how to come up with a new one without becoming completely paralysed. Do I want to celebrate a person from history? (Maybe whoever invented the Monte Carlo biscuit?) Should I try to come up with something happy and friendly? (Pat every dog in the park day!) Or maybe I should just come up with something silly and meaningless. (Yes. That is exactly what I’ll do.) Remember, I work in an office: silly and meaningless is all I’m capable of.

So, without further dillydallying, here’s my idea: the public holiday we really need is whatever date is chosen by a game show I have just invented called SPIN THE WHEEL. The wheel in question lists every day in the year, from January 1st through to December 31st. A random member of the public is asked to spin the wheel – then, whichever date it lands on is a public holiday in that given year. The next year, we spin the wheel again. This game show is televised on a free-to-air network, because I think the broadcast spectrum is better than digital media. The end.

I’m aware this idea is silly, but it has some redeeming qualities: 1. It will lead to endless complaining about how our economic productivity is being affected by a big spinny wheel. This sounds like a good outcome to me. 2. I can only imagine SPIN THE WHEEL will become the most-watched television event of the year for the three minutes it’s on. We’ll all gather round our screens and eagerly wait to see which date is chosen. Thus, this idea creates a sense of COMMUNITY and EXCITEMENT. 3. It’s possible you’ll get a public holiday on your birthday. 4. It highlights how life is sometimes random and arbitrary and has wheels in it.

So, before you write off the greatest three-minute television spectacle Australia has ever seen, just remember that life is about finding meaning in how you choose to spend your time. It isn’t about the wheel, or the game, or the dog host named Susan. It’s about having a blank page of time; a whole day of whatever you like. Hopefully I’ll find you in a hammock with a book on your chest, basking in the warm sun and brimming with the kind of happiness only a day off can give you.