SKIN REPUBLIC GOLD HYDROGEL MASK

I’ve recently developed a faint spider web of lines next to my eyes, so I guess it was about time I addressed that, lest society decide to ship me out to sea. This hydrogel mask is infused with a special serum that is said to “instantly minimise the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles”. Seems luxurious – especially when it’s made from what

I can only assume is 24-carat gold. I’d never used a sheet mask before, and it was… quite an experience. You have to sit still for at least half an hour and hope the cold, slippery paper doesn’t flap off your face. I know this is technically meant to be relaxing, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that guy in The Silence of the Lambs who made clothes out of human skin. Then I couldn’t get the line, “It rubs the lotion on its skin” out of my head. It did not feel luxurious anymore. SS