nailing a solo christmas
CARO COOPER SENDS GOOD TIDINGS AND FANCY WINE TO FOLKS RIDING SOLO ON CHRISTMAS DAY.
Spending Christmas alone, away from family and friends, can be either a liberating exercise in adult independence or a saddening, lonely day of critical self-reflection. Here are some tips to help you get your festive cheer on and avoid ending the day sobbing face-down in a plate of boozy pudding.
TREAT YOURSELF There’s a lot of pain involved in being an adult: paying bills; working; the crushing realisation that you’re not special; and being too big to ride in a pram. There is, however, an upside, and it’s one we often forget: the power to eat and buy whatever the heck we want. We get so caught up in limiting ourselves to what we should consume that we forget those constraints are self-imposed. What better time to throw off your restrictive dietary and budgetary shackles than during a solo Christmas? Buy that $30 tub of artisanal ice-cream, a jumbo pie, organic wine, and all the other foods you’d eat if you could. You can.
EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY Once you’ve bought your supplies, it’s time to cook and dine with joy. You don’t need a gaggle of drunken rellies around to pour a goblet of wine, burst a Christmas cracker, or don a scratchy paper hat. Similarly, a solo Christmas lunch doesn’t have to be a lonely cheese jaffle – unless that’s what you want, of course. Cook your favourites and live on leftovers for a week. Roasts, salads, sides. Do it all. Don’t forget to set the table, and use your very best crockery. There’s no better use for the ‘good plates’ than wining and dining yourself.
SNIFF OUT FELLOW STRAYS Christmas is one of the loneliest times of year, according to every holiday movie I’ve ever seen. Cities are filled with people desperate for some communal cheer; unwilling to eat alone, no matter how nice the plates. So, take the reindeer by the horns and organise a pot-luck lunch. Ask your friends to spread the word to any strays within their networks, and if hosting isn’t your vibe, find a friend-of-a-friend’s event to crash. Worst-case scenario, you end up at someone’s family Christmas lunch listening to a drunk aunty wax lyrical about her promiscuity. Great! It’ll make you even more thankful that you have the evening to yourself.
EMBRACE THE SIMPLICITY Not a fan of crowds or cooking? Celebrate the quiet – the absence of nosy grandparents, emotional siblings and kids high on yuletide cheer that drive most people crazy at Christmas. Just be. Maybe you can pretend it’s not even Christmas. It’s just any other public holiday; a free pass to spend the day in your pyjamas while working your way through the Gilmore Girls back catalogue, a 1000-piece puzzle and a tin of Quality Streets.
FACETIME YOUR FAMILY Ask someone back home to set up a laptop on the table with your dismembered head framed in the screen. You can eat along with them! You can private message your sister with sassy retorts to your uncle’s problematic remarks! It’ll be like you’re there, except when you’re done you can just drop off and blame the bad internet connection.
STAY OFFLINE Whatever you decide to do on Christmas Day, just stay off social media. There may remain a tiny ember of sadness within you – it’s probably your inner-child, confused at the dearth of presents and carols. Don’t fight it, but also don’t nurture it; avoid the super-happy Christmas posts slowly filling up your Facebook and Instagram feeds. There’s nothing to be gained from wallowing in other people’s good tidings. Besides, you should be busy scoffing that ice-cream and entire Christmas pudding.